Plettenberg Bay sounds like it should be in Germany, with streets full of oompah bands and drunken sausage-munchers in long socks. But it's actually the jewel in South Africa's Garden Route, and boasts unspoilt beaches, gleaming resorts, and wonderful national parks that are just being to be explored. So I, uh, went out and explored … Continue reading Simply the Pletts
I loved my time in Mossel Bay, but after the locals realised I wasn't family, it was time for me to leave. The name of one town along South Africa's Garden Route really stood out to me, so I jumped in the Jimmy Savile Mobile and drove at a reasonable speed towards the tiny village … Continue reading Into the Wilderness
With no idea where to head next on my tour of South Africa, i decided to ask the campy owner of my hotel in Stellenbosch if he had any recommendations. "Muscled gay," he replied saucily, while licking his lips. "I appreciate the compliment of my chiseled physique," I replied, "but I was hoping you could … Continue reading Check out my Mossels
I had such a grouse time in the mountains surrounding Stellenbosch yesterday that I decided to spend an extra day here rather than heading to South Africa's south coast. Stella is the second-oldest settlement in the country and is famous for its French-style streets and buildings, so I cruised my crappy rental Hyundai into the … Continue reading An absolute Paarl-er
It was time to bid bon appetit to Cape Town, and my plan was to grab a rental car and cruise over to Mossel Bay to explore the world famous Garden Route. But after spending three hours desperately trying to organise wheels, and eventually ending up with something you'd expet a sex offender to cruise … Continue reading Stellenbosch? More like stellar-bosch, yeah!
After climbing up Table Mountain yesterday, and waking up this morning feeling like I'd gone the distance with a kickboxer, I was determined to take it easy on my last day in Cape Town. A cruise, a few beers, that sort of thing. I wasn't expecting to have one of the most interesting experiences of … Continue reading Robben/Hood
Most hikers prepare for a massive day of climbing by getting a good night's sleep and waking up fresh ready to go. I prepared to ascend two of South Africa's most famous peaks by drinking 12 beers and waking up in bed with some girl I barely recognised. Still, it was a perfect day to … Continue reading Lion’s Head and Table Mountain in one day? Madness!
Cape Town has a bad reputation for extreme violence, which is understandable when there have been 2,451 reported homicides here in the past year - a world class rate of 65.53 per 100,000. For comparison, Sydney had 38 in the same time period. With statistics like that, I was nervous as my plane touched down … Continue reading Cape Fantasies
I'm at 35,000 feet with a beer in my hand and another seven under my belt, on my way to the Democratic Republic of South Africa. It's there that my journey will truly begin - not only will I be wrestling rhinos and gulping malaria tablets so that I don't die, but I'll also be … Continue reading Reflections on Dubai
Abu Dhabi is the capital of the UAE, which means it's their version of Canberra. But instead of being freezing cold and overflowing with brilliant footballers, it's blazing hot and loaded with skyscrapers. Oh, and the beaches are a bit better than Canberra's, too. The city is a two hour bus ride from Dubai, and … Continue reading Capital Punishment
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 