I like girls. I even went close to marrying one, back before I realised that the only good thing about marriage is watching gay people sook about not being able to waste their time with it. Being that I like girls and don’t have a girlfriend, I’ve often indulged in the cyber freakshow that is Tinder. I’ve met some good sorts, I’ve met some shockers (one chick turned up wearing a viking helmet and left in tears because she started hallucinating about goblins coming for her), but Tinder changed for me when I started using it here in Bali.
In short, my Tinder matches are now absolutely stacked with ladyboys. Shemales. Chicks with dicks, I dunno what the politically correct term is, but I’ve matched with a whole heap of them. Now, it’s always good when you buy Maccas and find an unexpected chicken nugget at the bottom of the bag, but I’m not the sort of guy who would be happy to pick up a woman and find out there’s an extra burger pattie down below. In saying that, I can’t say I haven’t been flattered by the attention these big-titted gentlemen have lavished upon me over the interwebs.
Here are some of my favourites.
At least she’s prettier and more feminine than the Julia who ran Australia a few years back. On the other hand, Gillard has probably had more sex with closeted homosexuals.
It seems like Southeast Asian prostitution is all about the money these days.
If you took Ivan to a party, your friends would give you a funny look when you told them her name. Then they’d give you a really funny look after sharing the trough with her. Then they’d give you a high-five after Ivan gave them a deepthroat blowie.
Check out dem titties! Convince your mate to get similar surgery and you can have the same experience without leaving the country!
Plenty of blokes have been fooled into thinking Maria is really Megan Fox. The illusion is soon broken when she fucks them up the arse and steals their beard trimmer.
She was born this way. Y’know, with the fake tits, hair extensions and plastic nails.
The Gold Coast Titans might be looking for a few forwards, and Marsela’s got the sort of build that would terrify the opposition. She could even play hooker – boom fuckin’ tish!
Needless to say, Yasi takes it up the arsie.
Alright, the others at least put some effort into it. Michan found a wig in a bin, struggled to put it on straight, then snapped a selfie before passing out in a public toilet.
I’ve asked several people about this one, and the general consensus is that it’s not gay if it’s with Rara. In fact, she’s so hot that an self-respecting heterosexual fella wouldn’t even be upset if she had two cocks between her legs and another half-dozen in her bedside cabinet.
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 
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