Sleeping on the floor like the dog I am

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Here’s a fun fact about the Koreans; they sleep on the fuckin’ floor! No bed, no inflatable mattress, they just chuck a thin bit of material on the tiles and away they go for eight hours in Napland. I’m a big fan of experiencing other cultures – I once slept with a girl from New Zealand – so when I was looking for a hotel in Busan, I decided to go for one with traditional Korean bedding. The fact it was the cheapest joint I could find was another factor, but mainly I just wanted an authentic experience.

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Killing it at Tinder

Having a serious drinking problem means that I’ve slept (alright, passed out) on a lot of floors, so I didn’t think it would be a problem. I expected traditional Korean sleeping arrangements to be a bit like when you crash at a mates place and he gives you one of those thin, shitty mattresses to sleep on, along with a bright red doona with mysterious white stains on it. But the ‘bedding’ here has no cushioning at all. I now know how dogs feel when they’re forced to sleep on poo-stained mats beside the back door.

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No Pikachu were harmed. One, however, was brutally raped and will require years of physical end emotional treatment in order before becoming an active member of society again

It’s no wonder the Korean birthrate is dropping, because rooting a chick on the hard floor wouldn’t be much fun at all. Doggy style is only going to lead to sore knees for all concerned, and the reverse piledriver is a disaster waiting to happen. They seriously need to look at their bedroom habits, or else the terrorists will win.

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There are probably heaps of big-titted spunks bopping around when the sun is out. When it’s raining, the beach is full of pigeons and homeless dudes

As for Busan, it looks like a great place, with plenty of beaches and lots of restaurants. I can’t tell you much more than that, because the weather’s followed me and it’s absolutely pissing down outside. I haven’t even been able to head down the street to get something to eat, so I’ve basically been sitting here on my mat watching Korean TV and feeling sorry for myself. I might have to set up a GoFundMe page to get people to pay for some home delivery Korean BBQ.

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It’s common for couples in Asialand to dress identically. It makes it easy to find each other in crowded places; they can go up to the dude at the front desk and ask him, “Have you seen someone dressed exactly like this?” I wouldn’t have a relationship with someone who dresses like me, because the only chicks who wear singlets and cargo shorts are lady-gays
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