Camping capers

I love camping more than Tom Hardy loves pretending to be an actor, so one of the reasons I came down to Tasmania was to spend time surrounded by nature. With half the state a National Park, massive mountains everywhere and enough trees to please even the fussiest greenie scumbag.

After much research, I decided to spend three days out at Mount Field National Park, about an hour’s drive north-west of Hobart. With two incredible peaks to climb, heaps of animals, plenty of types of flora and beautiful camping ground at the bottom, it seemed like the right place to be. So in love am I with all things planty, that before heading out there I stopped off at Hobart’s Botanical Garden.

Smells like awesome!

I had a delightful swagger through the garden, smelling the flowers and marvelling at the botanical wonders from around the globe. It’s a great place to spend an hour or so (or longer, if you’ve got a cask of wine and a good book), and I would’ve stayed longer if I wasn’t thrown out for impersonating the ponce from Gardening Australia. You know the one.


Yeah, him. Which was a shame, because I was really quite enjoying my stroll through the gardens. Ah well, I was to get more than enough wood (I mean trees, not penises) at my next stop.

Where’s Hotdogs from Big Brother?

Mick and Katri were kind enough to drive me out to my camp ground, and when I got there I was surprised by how nice it is. There’s a cafe, warm showers, and a sweet little creek that I pitched my tent next to. I bid farewell to my drivers, and headed out into the bush to see what was going on.

Ladies, there’s room for one more!

It’s only a short walk from the camp to the splendid Russel Falls, named after popular comedian Russel Gilbert. Dunno why, guess he likes waterfalls, or got caught jacking off there or something. Anyway, they’re awesome, and I enjoyed simply relaxing and watching them as the sky got darker and the day came to an end.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls…

Next were the Horseshoe Falls, named after popular comedian Vince ‘Horseshoe’ Sorenti. Dunno how he got that nickname and, to be honest, I’d be scared to find out. They’re tops, too, and definitely worth a look.

… or those cunts will chase you back!

From there, my journey took me along the Tall Trees walk, underneath some of the tallest trees on the planet. At nearly 100 metres from top to bottom, they’re taller than a 20-storey building (probably). At one point I simply sat and stared way, way up into the sky, watching birds fight and squawk in the treetops, a whole world happening above me.

Right now I’m lying in my one-man tent, eating my Bhuja, listening to Dirty Heads and ready to sleep. Life is good. Life is very good.

Whatcha gonna do, brutha?

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