It's not often I'm the most sober and well-dressed bloke in town, but that was the case when I swaggered into Bundaberg, a remote Queensland outpost built on alcoholism and liver failure. The locals love getting hammered so much they named the joint after their favourite booze, Bundy Rum, a throat-burning syrup which doubles as … Continue reading The City Built on Alcoholism: Bundaberg, Queensland
Here are the top five things to do on Queensland's Sunshine Coast. Yay. 1. Go for a stroll through Noosa National Park. Beautiful beaches, dense foliage, gorgeous sunsets - this spot has it all, and is within spitting distance of Noosa's main strip. Whether you're after a swim or a spot of bird-watching, it's the … Continue reading Sunshine Coast, Queensland
The Gold Coast is best known for meth-addicted single mothers, drunken teenagers shitting in the streets, rampant home invasions and roided-up pindicks with shit tribal tatts. But head inland, climb up into the hinterland, and it's possible to lose yourself in a natural wonderland of indescribable beauty. Tamborine Mountain is around 45 minutes west of … Continue reading Gold Coast Hinterland
Welcome to Toowoomba, the Queensland garden city that's home to 7000 hair salons, useless TV chubster Meshel Laurie, and a strip club that I once disgraced myself at. I hadn't visited the 'woomba in nearly a decade, and tried my hardest to keep my trousers on this time...
There once was a girl from ChinchillaWith a melon the size of GodzillaFor a beer and a smileShe'd get fucked doggy styleThat girl grew up to become Ben Stiller
Parting is such sweet sorrow, as John Lennon once said, and so it was with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to the del Sol after our tow truck ride from Dirranbandi to St George. The local mechanic was kind enough to lend me a grubby Toyota Avalon for a few days - which … Continue reading St George 🐉🐉🐉
When I told people I was heading into the vast expanse of the Australian outback, most suggested it wasn't a great idea to do it in a 26-year-old Japanese sports car. I was determined to prove them wrong, and to show that positive thinking and a 1.6L V-Tec engine can overcome any obstacle. The del … Continue reading The Dirranbandi Dandy
The sun was bleeding into the dirt when the word went aroundThat a filthy red Del Sol had been seen rolling into townA machine like that had never swept the streets of the Ridge of LightningSo the locals knew the man who tamed that beast had to be frightening The Sol rolled past the Bottle … Continue reading The Drunkard Went Down To Lightning Ridge
Looking for the rest of my shorts The Doug Sky Lookout sounds like it was named after an '80s porno star, but offers the best views in the park You can see something like 10 percent of the state from the top of Mount Kaputar. Unfortunately, it's not the 10 percent that's full of topless … Continue reading Narrabri and Mount Kaputar
The final stretch of my tour around the golden west of New South Wales took me out of Parkes and through Dubbo, which is famous for its sprawling zoo and sprawling pub fights. I was running short on time, so I took a photo at the city limits and pretty much brushed the rest. Honestly, … Continue reading Merriwa; What is it good for? Absolutely everything!