It's not often I'm the most sober and well-dressed bloke in town, but that was the case when I swaggered into Bundaberg, a remote Queensland outpost built on alcoholism and liver failure. The locals love getting hammered so much they named the joint after their favourite booze, Bundy Rum, a throat-burning syrup which doubles as … Continue reading The City Built on Alcoholism: Bundaberg, Queensland
G'day Drunkards, I haven't posted in a while but I still love yas. There's a reason for it, though, because I've been relaxing in a rehab centre for a while. Don't worry, I'm not a quitter, and this joint isn't going to become Sober and a Valuable Member of Society anytime soon. The authorities gently … Continue reading Land of the Bigs
Here are the top five things to do on Queensland's Sunshine Coast. Yay. 1. Go for a stroll through Noosa National Park. Beautiful beaches, dense foliage, gorgeous sunsets - this spot has it all, and is within spitting distance of Noosa's main strip. Whether you're after a swim or a spot of bird-watching, it's the … Continue reading Sunshine Coast, Queensland
The Gold Coast is best known for meth-addicted single mothers, drunken teenagers shitting in the streets, rampant home invasions and roided-up pindicks with shit tribal tatts. But head inland, climb up into the hinterland, and it's possible to lose yourself in a natural wonderland of indescribable beauty. Tamborine Mountain is around 45 minutes west of … Continue reading Gold Coast Hinterland
Welcome to Toowoomba, the Queensland garden city that's home to 7000 hair salons, useless TV chubster Meshel Laurie, and a strip club that I once disgraced myself at. I hadn't visited the 'woomba in nearly a decade, and tried my hardest to keep my trousers on this time...
There once was a girl from ChinchillaWith a melon the size of GodzillaFor a beer and a smileShe'd get fucked doggy styleThat girl grew up to become Ben Stiller
Has your trip to Italy been binned because of the dreaded Beijing Bug? Stop drowning your sorrows in Peroni because whilst Roma, Italia is off the cards, Roma, Queensland is open for business. The sunburnt city of 6000 is 400km inland from the Sunshine Coast and it's fantastico! Don't believe me? Then let's put the … Continue reading Roma, Italia vs Roma, Queensland
Parting is such sweet sorrow, as John Lennon once said, and so it was with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to the del Sol after our tow truck ride from Dirranbandi to St George. The local mechanic was kind enough to lend me a grubby Toyota Avalon for a few days - which … Continue reading St George 🐉🐉🐉
When I told people I was heading into the vast expanse of the Australian outback, most suggested it wasn't a great idea to do it in a 26-year-old Japanese sports car. I was determined to prove them wrong, and to show that positive thinking and a 1.6L V-Tec engine can overcome any obstacle. The del … Continue reading The Dirranbandi Dandy
The sun was bleeding into the dirt when the word went aroundThat a filthy red Del Sol had been seen rolling into townA machine like that had never swept the streets of the Ridge of LightningSo the locals knew the man who tamed that beast had to be frightening The Sol rolled past the Bottle … Continue reading The Drunkard Went Down To Lightning Ridge
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 