Welcome to Toowoomba, the Queensland garden city that's home to 7000 hair salons, useless TV chubster Meshel Laurie, and a strip club that I once disgraced myself at. I hadn't visited the 'woomba in nearly a decade, and tried my hardest to keep my trousers on this time...
There once was a girl from ChinchillaWith a melon the size of GodzillaFor a beer and a smileShe'd get fucked doggy styleThat girl grew up to become Ben Stiller
Has your trip to Italy been binned because of the dreaded Beijing Bug? Stop drowning your sorrows in Peroni because whilst Roma, Italia is off the cards, Roma, Queensland is open for business. The sunburnt city of 6000 is 400km inland from the Sunshine Coast and it's fantastico! Don't believe me? Then let's put the … Continue reading Roma, Italia vs Roma, Queensland
Parting is such sweet sorrow, as John Lennon once said, and so it was with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to the del Sol after our tow truck ride from Dirranbandi to St George. The local mechanic was kind enough to lend me a grubby Toyota Avalon for a few days - which … Continue reading St George 🐉🐉🐉
When I told people I was heading into the vast expanse of the Australian outback, most suggested it wasn't a great idea to do it in a 26-year-old Japanese sports car. I was determined to prove them wrong, and to show that positive thinking and a 1.6L V-Tec engine can overcome any obstacle. The del … Continue reading The Dirranbandi Dandy
The sun was bleeding into the dirt when the word went aroundThat a filthy red Del Sol had been seen rolling into townA machine like that had never swept the streets of the Ridge of LightningSo the locals knew the man who tamed that beast had to be frightening The Sol rolled past the Bottle … Continue reading The Drunkard Went Down To Lightning Ridge
It's a bloody long drive to Lightning Ridge from Narrabri, they sayBut there's a few real fascinating things to see along the wayLike the Compact Array of telescopes that nerds use to watch the starsBefore asking to see 'Uranus' whilst wanking themselves in their carsAlong the road is Wee Waa, the birthplace of Jamie LyonWho … Continue reading A Ballad of Satellites, Wee Waa and Jamie Lyon
Looking for the rest of my shorts The Doug Sky Lookout sounds like it was named after an '80s porno star, but offers the best views in the park You can see something like 10 percent of the state from the top of Mount Kaputar. Unfortunately, it's not the 10 percent that's full of topless … Continue reading Narrabri and Mount Kaputar
The final stretch of my tour around the golden west of New South Wales took me out of Parkes and through Dubbo, which is famous for its sprawling zoo and sprawling pub fights. I was running short on time, so I took a photo at the city limits and pretty much brushed the rest. Honestly, … Continue reading Merriwa; What is it good for? Absolutely everything!
Broken hearts don't last forever, and I had a whole lot more of regional Australia see, so I loaded up the Del Sol once again and blatted off towards Parkes. The handsome town of 11,000 is best known for being home to the satellite dish that transmitted the images of the first moon landing, but … Continue reading Parkes and Recreation