The Drunk and Jobless World Tour
Getting wasted in exotic places
It’s as wet as a fish’s pocket outside, so my adventures this week will be limited to playing PlayStation and dancing around the house in my undies while listening to Pink. I don’t think anyone’s interested in reading about that (except the weird bloke across the street, who often stares through my window as I’m […]
The last time I tried to go on an overnight hike above the tiny riverside village of Wondabyne, I was somewhat less than successful. Alright, that's an understatement - I had to call my mum to come and get me because I was at risk of being flooded out. So when I set out once … Continue reading Girra-kool? No, Girra-wet!
As the first golden sunbeams of 2017 hit me, I knew something was wrong. My pillow was the unforgiving concrete of the gutter outside the pub, and my pants were awash with a mixture of urine and vomit of unknown origin. I clutched my throbbing head and felt no hair there, and had painful flashbacks … Continue reading The Blue, Blue Skies of Corryong
Kyoto has thousands of years of history, beautiful temples, and many links to a long-forgotten world when samurais roamed the land and ninjas chucked shurikens at any dickhead stupid enough to walk past. And while I respect that, I also found it to be one of the most boring cities I've ever visited. No, it's … Continue reading Kyoto – the Canberra of Japan
Like most people, I always assumed that Kobe is just the name of that black basketballing man, but it turns out it's also a city in Japan. After spending the night on a ferry fighting off the advances of a derange cuddle buddy, I was glad to reach dry land, and set out into the … Continue reading Kobe kapers
This is the Japanese island of Aoshima and yep, that's the sun - a first for my trip through the Nippon! Today I lay around on the sand while the locals gawped at me, pretended a large stick was my penis, and attended a shrine said to help single blokes find wives. Personally, I reckon … Continue reading Island time
Japanland's cities are great fun to explore, but there's only so many skyscrapers and karaoke bars I can see before feeling the need to get the hell out of the big smoke. So I packed my kimono and caught the bus over to the beach village of Aoshima, on the eastern coast of Kyushu. And … Continue reading Aoshima
I can be a real dickhead sometimes, but it seems that I'm dopiest when I decide to walk somewhere that I shouldn't walk. I tried walking up Hobart's 1200m Mt Wellington after an all-night drinking session and ended up vomiting in a bush and being attacked by a deranged Polish dude. I tried circumnavigating Slovenia … Continue reading The world’s stupoidest man climbs a mountain
The full moon makes people do funny things. Some transform into werewolves and go around eating anyone too fat to run away, while others dance naked around bonfires and have sex with goats. The Balinese don't do anything stupid like that, though - the full moon is simply a reason to eat fish from the … Continue reading Ceremonial sacrifices
Paragliding isn't all about flying through exotic lands. Most of the time is spent bludging around waiting for the wind to pick up, or drinking Bintangs by the pool with your mates, or stripping off in public while the locals hoot and holler like rabid monkeys. This is the story of a night out with … Continue reading Hangin’ with the Hamster: The UNCUT TRUE STORY of THAT drunken evening with Richard Ham
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 