If you've been reading Drunk and Jobless lately, you're no doubt incredibly jealous of all the cool places I've been to over the past few months, so I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that I'm currently stuck at Dubai airport on a 23.5 hour stopover. That might sound like the hilarious premise behind the … Continue reading My Dinner With Dipu
Paje is famous for it's beaches, but that's not all this Zanzibarean delight offers. The Jozani Chwaka Bay National Park is all that's left of the island's indigenous vegetation, and is home to thousands of zany monkeys. As a primate fancier (no, not in that way) I was determined to head out to the park … Continue reading Monkey Magic!
The water off Paje's eastern coast is a bit like a Russian chick's skirt; it looks brilliant, and any self-respecting bloke wants to see what's underneath it. So today I grabbed my snorkel and went down below for a few hours. Oh, I'm talking about snorkelling, you sicko! And as you can see from these really, … Continue reading Fish, fish, everywhere!
Paje and Paradise both start with the letters 'pa'. Coincidence? Yeah, probably, but the tiny village of Paje, on Zanzibar's southeast coast, is certainly a lovely place to spend a few days. So that's what I've been doing - bludging by the pool, bludging on the beach, and acting more like a lazy tourist than … Continue reading The Sights and Kites of Paje
As Sinbad fought through a massive crowd, flowers in hand, just to be with me, I realised it was the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. Sure, there was that time a chick sucked me off in the toilets at the Chinese restaurant in East Gosford after my brother's birthday dinner a … Continue reading The Most Wanted Man in Zanzibar
After learning I was heading to Dar es Salaam, my good friend (and convicted abuser of homeless people) Scott called me from his presidential suite inside Parklea Prison. "Hey bro, you go to Tanzania?" he asked, whilst whitling a shiv from a toothbrush. "You must meet my cousin, Sinbad. He look just like me. He … Continue reading Hakuna Matata! Welcome to Tanzania!
Malawians have a wonderful saying regarding their capital city; you can live life the right way, you can live life the wrong way, or you can live life Lilongwe. I don't know what it's supposed to mean, but it rhymes, so I guess it's kind of beautiful and poignant. The ride there from Zomba was … Continue reading Take the Lilongwe Home
I have a history of hooking up with attractive European sheilas whilst travelling and then disrupting my plans in order to look at their pretty hair and kiss their pretty faces, so it should come as no surprise that it's happened again. I had the option to spend a few more days by the water, … Continue reading Zomba!
Lake Malawi looks glorious, but shortly after arriving I decided not to swim in it because it's full of flesh-eating bilharzia parasites. My mind was quickly changed when a decorative 24-year-old Austrian sheila begged me to share a kayak with her for a trip around Thumbi Island. Shit, there's not much I wouldn't do for … Continue reading Chicks dig dudes with exotic tropical diseases, right?
With the stunning-to-look-at-yet-infested-with-parasites Lake Malawi threatening to kill me, today I decide to head for higher ground where I might be a bit safer. There are some awesome mountains around Cape Maclear, so I put on my walkin' boots and went for a strut. Little did I know that I would've had less trouble drinking … Continue reading The Marvelous Mountain Man of Malawi
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 