My girlfriend is Brazilian, so whenever I do something stupid and she starts yelling at me, I don't have a clue what she's saying because I don't speak Portuguese. It's always "small penis" this and "useless fucking dickhead" that, which makes no sense to me because I don't understand the language. So, in an effort … Continue reading Balls-out in Setúbal
There are certain places on this big fuck-off blue ball called Earth that I truly believe I was drawn to. Whether to meet someone who would touch my soul or to experience something that would change my life, I didn't choose to visit these destinations - they chose me. Florianopolis, in the south of Brazil, … Continue reading Floripa Madness!
The seaside village of Patonga is one of the nicest spots on Central Coast of NSW, with calm waters, golden sand and spectacular views across the water to the Northern Beaches. If you just want to rock up, have a decent feed at the pub and enjoy the serenity, that's great, but the area is … Continue reading Patonga to Mt Wondabyne Overnight Hike
I've been to some oddly-named beaches over the years - Tasmania's Eggs and Bacon Bay stands out - and I think I've found the weirdest of all time. It's called Flick en Flack, it's on the west coast of Mauritius, and it's a pretty groovy place to hang out and smash a few beers. Just look … Continue reading Flic en Flac (yes, that’s the actual name of an actual place)
Paje and Paradise both start with the letters 'pa'. Coincidence? Yeah, probably, but the tiny village of Paje, on Zanzibar's southeast coast, is certainly a lovely place to spend a few days. So that's what I've been doing - bludging by the pool, bludging on the beach, and acting more like a lazy tourist than … Continue reading The Sights and Kites of Paje
The next leg of the Drunk and Jobless World Tour™ has begun! It's a journey that will take me from the pristine beaches of southern Bali to the skies of Candidasa, across the mountains of South Korea and deep into the beating heart of Tokyo. It's going to be a full-on seven weeks, so I've … Continue reading Bintangs in Balangan
Sri Lanka doesn’t have a whole lot of Olympic gold medal-winning racewalkers. Alright, there’s Surav Fingabang and Karu Sukadingdong, and Anil Pushapooalong probably would’ve won in 2012 if he hadn’t been bitten by a dog during his warm up, but the fact is these people don’t like walking. There’s a reason for that - it’s … Continue reading You son of a beach!
After a few days scratching around the grimiest backstreets Sri Lanka has to offer, today I finally got to take a refreshing dip in the calm, blue waters of the Bay of Bengal. I’ve set up camp in Trincomalee, a seemingly endless stretch of golden sand fringed by swaying palms. There are certainly worse places … Continue reading Sober in Sri Lanka
I’ve been a busy boy over the last few weeks, exploring every nook and granny (hi, Beulah!) of a dozen European countries. So today I thought I’d have any easy one (thanks again, Beulah!) and spend the day lying around on a beautiful beach. Seeing as this is Europe and they wouldn’t know a proper … Continue reading Getting a Lapad Dance
I enjoyed my last paragliding visit to Port Macquarie so much that I've come back - but the locals are wishing I'd stayed where I bloody well come from. But hear me out, it wasn't my fault! There's less wind than on the moon today, so I decided to head to the Rainbow Beach to … Continue reading Today I lost my pants at the beach