If you asked a surfer where he'd like to go in South Africa, he'd probably answer, "Jeffreys Bay", followed by some incomprehensible babble along the lines of, "Totally tubular hang ten, duuuude!" That's because Jeffrey's Bay is widely regarded as the greatest surf spot on the planet, and is a place of pilgrimage for people … Continue reading Surf, sand and slums: Jeffreys Bay isn’t as ‘swell’ as I’d hoped
Of all the monkeys in the world, the baboon is definitely the sexiest. Sure, some people prefer orangutans, and gibbons certainly have their charms, but baboons really know how to turn on the charm and flaunt their simian sexiness. I've seen plenty of beautiful 'boons loitering by the side of the ride as I've ruised … Continue reading A baboon with a view
Plettenberg Bay sounds like it should be in Germany, with streets full of oompah bands and drunken sausage-munchers in long socks. But it's actually the jewel in South Africa's Garden Route, and boasts unspoilt beaches, gleaming resorts, and wonderful national parks that are just being to be explored. So I, uh, went out and explored … Continue reading Simply the Pletts
I loved my time in Mossel Bay, but after the locals realised I wasn't family, it was time for me to leave. The name of one town along South Africa's Garden Route really stood out to me, so I jumped in the Jimmy Savile Mobile and drove at a reasonable speed towards the tiny village … Continue reading Into the Wilderness
With no idea where to head next on my tour of South Africa, i decided to ask the campy owner of my hotel in Stellenbosch if he had any recommendations. "Muscled gay," he replied saucily, while licking his lips. "I appreciate the compliment of my chiseled physique," I replied, "but I was hoping you could … Continue reading Check out my Mossels
I had such a grouse time in the mountains surrounding Stellenbosch yesterday that I decided to spend an extra day here rather than heading to South Africa's south coast. Stella is the second-oldest settlement in the country and is famous for its French-style streets and buildings, so I cruised my crappy rental Hyundai into the … Continue reading An absolute Paarl-er
It was time to bid bon appetit to Cape Town, and my plan was to grab a rental car and cruise over to Mossel Bay to explore the world famous Garden Route. But after spending three hours desperately trying to organise wheels, and eventually ending up with something you'd expet a sex offender to cruise … Continue reading Stellenbosch? More like stellar-bosch, yeah!
Most hikers prepare for a massive day of climbing by getting a good night's sleep and waking up fresh ready to go. I prepared to ascend two of South Africa's most famous peaks by drinking 12 beers and waking up in bed with some girl I barely recognised. Still, it was a perfect day to … Continue reading Lion’s Head and Table Mountain in one day? Madness!
Cape Town has a bad reputation for extreme violence, which is understandable when there have been 2,451 reported homicides here in the past year - a world class rate of 65.53 per 100,000. For comparison, Sydney had 38 in the same time period. With statistics like that, I was nervous as my plane touched down … Continue reading Cape Fantasies
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 