A holiday in Delhi is about as relaxing as a picnic with Ivan Milat - with only slightly less chance of ending up dead. This place truly is a roundhouse kick to the senses; it’s frighteningly loud, blindingly bright, and somewhere that should be experienced for the shock factor alone. When I stepped out of … Continue reading Into the mouth of madness
After the nine-hour trip from Yangon to Bagan, I never wanted to ride on another bus again. But there I was, two days later, climbing on the Bagan Minn Thar Express once again to make the return journey, this time overnight. And it wasn’t too bad, actually - for me, at least. There was a … Continue reading A monk gets dunked
Today was a day that I probably didn't need to spend in Bagan. I saw a bunch of temples yesterday, and didn't have a burning urge to see any more today, but I'm stuck here till 8pm, so what did I do? I looked at temples and got drunk. Shit, it's Bagan, it's not like … Continue reading Things to do in Bagan when you’re dead
My bus trip from Yangon to Bagan, Myanmar was interesting, to say the least. After cabbing it to the outskirts of town to catch the beautiful (not really) Bagan Minn Thar Express, I was squished into a tiny seat next to an overweight man and his two children, behind a monk, and in front of … Continue reading Bus-ted!
Yesterday I got my first taste of Yangon and found it to be pretty ace, and today I wanted to dig a little deeper and check out some of the stuff outside the central business district. In some ways it was like going to bed with a decent sort and waking up the next day … Continue reading Stuck in the middle of Myanmar with you
I expected Myanmar to be extremely poor, backwards and run-down, but have been surprised to discover that the city of Yangon is a modern, progressive place that is a joy to walk around and overloaded with things to see and do. The streets are wide, with plenty of trees and footbaths big enough to actually … Continue reading Mission of Burma (that’s when I reach for my Myanmar Lager)
It was time to leave Penida, which meant a ride on the back of a motorbike with my suitcase, before spending an hour negotiating a relatively cheap price for the boat ride to the nearby Nusa Lembongen, and ended with an offer of oral sex. This place is completely different from Penida here, but equally … Continue reading Mentos as currency (and why it might be a good idea)
After spending eight hours fanging along dirt tracks on a motorbike, my back door feels like it’s been banged in by Lexington Steele. But, along the way, I was treated to an astonishing view of the incredible island that is Nusa Penida. I was meant to go scuba diving with manta rays, but the weather … Continue reading Do you like Penida coladas? And getting caught in the rain?
I spend a lot of time observing people. Or ‘leering’, as the police call it. Anyway, observing the way things work around here has allowed me to come up with a guaranteed way of getting your whale washed in Ubud. You just need to be a long-haired South American dropkick with a name like Ricardo, … Continue reading How to get laid in Ubud
Today I got a bit further out of Ubud, escaped the Japanese tourists and got caught in a monsoon that would kill a normal man. I’m not normal, though, as evidenced by the fact that I went out with my hair in pigtails like some sort of superhero. Having not learnt from previous experiences, I … Continue reading The Village People
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 