My bus trip from Yangon to Bagan, Myanmar was interesting, to say the least. After cabbing it to the outskirts of town to catch the beautiful (not really) Bagan Minn Thar Express, I was squished into a tiny seat next to an overweight man and his two children, behind a monk, and in front of … Continue reading Bus-ted!
Yesterday I got my first taste of Yangon and found it to be pretty ace, and today I wanted to dig a little deeper and check out some of the stuff outside the central business district. In some ways it was like going to bed with a decent sort and waking up the next day … Continue reading Stuck in the middle of Myanmar with you
I expected Myanmar to be extremely poor, backwards and run-down, but have been surprised to discover that the city of Yangon is a modern, progressive place that is a joy to walk around and overloaded with things to see and do. The streets are wide, with plenty of trees and footbaths big enough to actually … Continue reading Mission of Burma (that’s when I reach for my Myanmar Lager)
Sorry, Huddersfield, you've been replaced as the worst place I've ever visited. All hail Jakarta, Indonesia, a filthy, noisy hellhole that is as pretty and interesting as the contents of Clive Palmer's toilet the morning after a pie-eating competition. Let this stand as a warning to anyone thinking about coming here for a holiday - … Continue reading I’d rather drink shit than spend another day in Jakarta
It was time to leave Penida, which meant a ride on the back of a motorbike with my suitcase, before spending an hour negotiating a relatively cheap price for the boat ride to the nearby Nusa Lembongen, and ended with an offer of oral sex. This place is completely different from Penida here, but equally … Continue reading Mentos as currency (and why it might be a good idea)
After spending eight hours fanging along dirt tracks on a motorbike, my back door feels like it’s been banged in by Lexington Steele. But, along the way, I was treated to an astonishing view of the incredible island that is Nusa Penida. I was meant to go scuba diving with manta rays, but the weather … Continue reading Do you like Penida coladas? And getting caught in the rain?
I can’t believe I got out of Padang Bai with both my kidneys still inside my body and without having a rat gnaw my face off as I slept. Honestly, I think the shit and vomit I left in the broken toilet probably doubled the value of the place. Good fucking riddance. After a ride … Continue reading Padang Bai? How about Padang Fuck Off?
I spend a lot of time observing people. Or ‘leering’, as the police call it. Anyway, observing the way things work around here has allowed me to come up with a guaranteed way of getting your whale washed in Ubud. You just need to be a long-haired South American dropkick with a name like Ricardo, … Continue reading How to get laid in Ubud
It was as wet as a fat chick in a chocolate shop when I landed, and I was very happy that the angry-looking chaps at customs didn’t suspect that I had 48 bootleg copies of Hanson’s Three Car Garage stashed up my arse. I soon got the full South-East Asian experience by getting ripped off … Continue reading There’s a fat guy on a scooter around every corner
December 3, 2014 was the greatest day of my life. No, I didn’t get a blowjob, and I didn’t find out that Josh Thomas had been run over by a cement truck. That morning I found out that my workplace wanted to pay me a large chunk of money to fuck off and never come … Continue reading You’ve come a long way, baby
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 