For someone who’s supposedly not retarded, I do some stupid things. Today I decided to escape the tourists and check out Denpasar City. After looking it up on the map, I started strolling towards it - even though the centre of the joint was about 13km away and the temperature was in the mid-30s. I’m … Continue reading Denpasar, so fuckin’ far
I like girls. I even went close to marrying one, back before I realised that the only good thing about marriage is watching gay people sook about not being able to waste their time with it. Being that I like girls and don’t have a girlfriend, I’ve often indulged in the cyber freakshow that is … Continue reading Dude looks like a lady
I don’t know what happened last night, but I didn’t wake up until 4 o’clock this arvo, so it must’ve been good. I managed to leave my hotel around 11, after the storm passed, and soon found myself in a bar chatting to a retired hitman from South Australia. If there’s one thing I’m good … Continue reading Bintang blues
It’s really weird to be travelling and not be counting down the days until I have to go home with dread. I can be away as long as I want to. I don’t have to go back. I always said that when I started to worry about going back to the real world, it was … Continue reading The woman next to me is watching Indonesia’s Got Talent
It was as wet as a fat chick in a chocolate shop when I landed, and I was very happy that the angry-looking chaps at customs didn’t suspect that I had 48 bootleg copies of Hanson’s Three Car Garage stashed up my arse. I soon got the full South-East Asian experience by getting ripped off … Continue reading There’s a fat guy on a scooter around every corner
December 3, 2014 was the greatest day of my life. No, I didn’t get a blowjob, and I didn’t find out that Josh Thomas had been run over by a cement truck. That morning I found out that my workplace wanted to pay me a large chunk of money to fuck off and never come … Continue reading You’ve come a long way, baby
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 