After spending the last week really, really wanting to go to the beach, today I, uh, went to the beach. I used the internet for something other than searching for videos of fat people falling over and discovered a little place called Shek O, not far out of town on Hong Kong Island, and caught … Continue reading I will be your prisoner, I will be your Shek-O
When I stepped out into the streets of Hong Kong I expected to see Oriental dudes doing flying kicks and those big, ceremonial dragons dancing down every laneway, but there was none of that. It turns out that's just a cliche and the Chinese don't really... oh wait, that's exactly what I saw as I … Continue reading The King of Kowloon
After three days in Guilin that were as sweet as the contents of a fat kid's lunch box, it was time to jump on a plane and fly over to Hong Kong. With a mid-afternoon flight, there wasn't a lot of time to do anything special, so I took one last walk around Guilin and … Continue reading Doggy Style
For a city of five million people, Guilin is simply stunning. Its natural wonders of green hills and sparkling rivers meld perfectly with housing blocks and busy streets to create a completely unique city unlike any other on the planet. So today I decided to get out there and explore it. First stop was Guilin's … Continue reading You put your right foot Guil-in, you put your right fot Guil-out
I think it's fitting that Guilin, a place I've been trying to get to for half my years, is a great metaphor for life. Ready for it? Sweet! For me, Guilin is like finally scoring with the girl of your dreams, only to have her tell you about that time she pulled the train for … Continue reading The Endless River
Oh, bloody hell, I'm pretty sure a homeless Chinaman snuck into my room while I was asleep and shat in my mouth. I woke up shortly after passing out, feeling rubbish and needing to quickly pack my stuff and get out of there. My train was at 3:44pm and I wanted to check out the … Continue reading Beijing to Guilin in 27-and-a-half hours
What do China and Kings Cross have in common? You can't visit either of them without checking out the wall. Unfortunately, the Chinese version didn't have any heroin-addicted blokes to root, but it was plenty of fun just the same. I wasn't keen on visiting the main tourist part of the Great Wall 'cos it's … Continue reading Another Dick on the Wall
With no concrete plans for the day, I just got up and started walking. The Forbidden City sounded like a fun place to see, so I started wandering in that general direction, finding a lovely little park on the way. Of course, Jingshan Park was crawling with people and about as relaxing as a bubble … Continue reading I (heart) BJ!
China's not going to explore itself, so let's check it out! The first stop on today's magical mystery tour through Shanghai was the Yu Garden, which is a sort of ancient temple place filled with trees and lakes and artifacts and half the population of Tokyo wandering around taking photos. I sauntered up there, but … Continue reading Holding hands with Jackie Chan
It’s as wet as a fish’s pocket outside, so my adventures this week will be limited to playing PlayStation and dancing around the house in my undies while listening to Pink. I don’t think anyone’s interested in reading about that (except the weird bloke across the street, who often stares through my window as I’m … Continue reading Shanghai scumbag – a Row Row rewind
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 