There once was a girl from ChinchillaWith a melon the size of GodzillaFor a beer and a smileShe'd get fucked doggy styleThat girl grew up to become Ben Stiller
Parting is such sweet sorrow, as John Lennon once said, and so it was with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to the del Sol after our tow truck ride from Dirranbandi to St George. The local mechanic was kind enough to lend me a grubby Toyota Avalon for a few days - which … Continue reading St George 🐉🐉🐉
The final stretch of my tour around the golden west of New South Wales took me out of Parkes and through Dubbo, which is famous for its sprawling zoo and sprawling pub fights. I was running short on time, so I took a photo at the city limits and pretty much brushed the rest. Honestly, … Continue reading Merriwa; What is it good for? Absolutely everything!
It's almost impossible to top a visit to Lithgow, but as I continued my journey to rekindle an old flame in Orange, I was determined to make the most of it. My next stop was Bathurst, which is Australia's oldest inland city and was founded on gold. Who cares about any of that, though - … Continue reading The King of Bathurst
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour™ has readers from across the planet, and one thing my fans are always asking me is whether it's worth flying to Australia just to see the famous Dog on the Tucker Box at Gundagai. I wrote about this legendary roadside attraction a year ago but, in the interest of providing … Continue reading The Dog on the Tucker Box
Byron Bay was once the land of hippies and burnouts, but these days it's better known for multi-million-dollar properties and overpriced drinks. Despite this drastic change it remains a beautiful place, and the gang and I thought it would be the perfect place to party after a week spent in sleepy ol' Rainbow, where everything closes … Continue reading Byron Bay Blues
Our first day in Rainbow Beach provided paragliding perfection, but after that things went downhill fast. With a cyclone swirling off the coast, the winds picked up and the rain came through and our wings remained tucked away in their rucksacks. Instead of flying, our little group of pilots fell into a cesspool of heavy drinking, … Continue reading I had a WHALE of a time in Hervey Bay!
After being amazed by the Sunshine Coast's plethora of giant roadside attractions, it was always going to be a big ask for Rainbow Beach to wow me. Really, what's the point of looking for wonderment when you've already been spoiled by a pelican the size of a VW Beetle? Rainbow Beach was more than up … Continue reading Somewhere Over The Rainbow
After a month spent fending off sleet and snow in the depths of Siberia, I was paler than Beetlejuice's arsehole and in desperate need of some Vitamin D, so I headed to the Sunshine Coast for a paragliding trip with my mates. As soon as I stepped off the plane at Maroochydore, I was met by … Continue reading Big in Queensland
What's big, spiky, and welcomes thousands of visitors a year? No, not your mum's bush, I'm talking about the Big Pineapple. I mean the one in Bathurst, South Africa, because it's the biggest Big Pineapple on the planet. Yes, bigger than Queensland's much-loved Big Pineapple, and that's hard to admit as an Aussie, because we … Continue reading Everyone loves pineapples!