I'm a celebrated man in Australia - much-loved writer, paramagliding extraordinaire, and highly-rated lover - but that's nothing compared to how revered I am in Macedonia. I came to Skopje looking for a quiet few days, but ended up becoming a national hero, beloved of the masses. It happens. Skopje is a nice little place, … Continue reading I’m a national hero in Macedonia
Podgorica, the capital of Montenegro, doesn't make it onto many lists of must-see cities, and for very good reason. While it's not an unpleasant place, and you won't get stabbed or raped if you go there, I can't think of a single reason to visit it rather than any other medium-sized city anywhere on the … Continue reading Things to do in Podgorica when you’re dead
While the resort town of Budva is an absolute delight, no trip to Montenegro is complete without a visit to nearby Kotor. It’s an ancient village situated in one of the most incredible locations on the planet - it sits on the banks of the Gulf of Kotor, with astonishing mountains on all sides. Climbing … Continue reading Kotor-head
During my time in Budva, Montenegro, there was one woman who truly gained my attention and stole my heart. Good body, nice head, spent most of her time at the beach with her tits out. What's not to like about that? Every day I passed her and promised that I'd make my move, but I … Continue reading I molested Budva’s symbol of the city
With the rain gods splashing water around like it's going out of fashion, and the beaches closed due to huge waves, there hasn't been a whole lot to do around Budva, Montenegro. So I toodled up to the bus station, told the little bloke behind the counter that I wanted to go somewhere fun, and … Continue reading Sweaty Steven
How good is Pauly Shore! Undoubtedly one of the most talented and influential members of the 90s new-wave cinematic scene, along with luminaries such as David Faustino and Carrot Top, he revolutionised film by appearing in classic such as Encino Man and Butt-Fuck Bikers 4. With his lady-friendly hair and larrikin grin, this wise-talking nugget … Continue reading Hey, Buuuuuuuuudva-y
I’ve been a busy boy over the last few weeks, exploring every nook and granny (hi, Beulah!) of a dozen European countries. So today I thought I’d have any easy one (thanks again, Beulah!) and spend the day lying around on a beautiful beach. Seeing as this is Europe and they wouldn’t know a proper … Continue reading Getting a Lapad Dance
My first full day in Dubrovnik, Croatia started out wetter than Mikey Robbins’ arse-crack at a Zumba lesson, but the rain soon pissed off and allowed me to explore this interesting, if very touristy city. It’s not a big place, with only 40,000 permanent residents, so walking all over the shop isn’t tough at all. … Continue reading Drunk in Dubrovnik
Whilst one could spend years trying to drink every beer in Sarajevo and not come close before dying of liver failure, I don’t have that much time to spend. So, instead, I toodled along to the bus stop and told any motherfucker who would listen that I wanted to go to Dubrovnik, and I wanted … Continue reading From Sarajevo to Dubrovnik – don’t walk, take a bus! It’s 258km, you dickhead!
Sarajevo gets a bad wrap, mainly because he's of people have been massacred here over the years. But it's actually a cracker of a city with plenty of culture, a great nightlife, and a unique personality unlike any other I've experienced. It's not hard to see why it's knows as The Jewell of That Sort … Continue reading Say hello to Sarajevo!
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 