I'm sitting here on the sand, watching the waves roll in under the moonlight, sipping on my last beer before heading back to Australia tomorrow morning. I've spent six weeks in Indonesia, Myanmar and India, six weeks that have felt like a lifetime and as if they would never end, but which are now just … Continue reading Going, Goa, Gone
While in Goa I've been doing two-fifths of three-eighths of fuck all, and I like it that way. Wake up, go for a swim, have a big breakfast, hang out on the beach and perve on chicks, have a nap, hit the cans. Patnem Beach is a great place to bludge it up. Last night … Continue reading A sucker for a vodka
A holiday in Delhi is about as relaxing as a picnic with Ivan Milat - with only slightly less chance of ending up dead. This place truly is a roundhouse kick to the senses; it’s frighteningly loud, blindingly bright, and somewhere that should be experienced for the shock factor alone. When I stepped out of … Continue reading Into the mouth of madness
Yesterday I got my first taste of Yangon and found it to be pretty ace, and today I wanted to dig a little deeper and check out some of the stuff outside the central business district. In some ways it was like going to bed with a decent sort and waking up the next day … Continue reading Stuck in the middle of Myanmar with you
I expected Myanmar to be extremely poor, backwards and run-down, but have been surprised to discover that the city of Yangon is a modern, progressive place that is a joy to walk around and overloaded with things to see and do. The streets are wide, with plenty of trees and footbaths big enough to actually … Continue reading Mission of Burma (that’s when I reach for my Myanmar Lager)
After spending eight hours fanging along dirt tracks on a motorbike, my back door feels like it’s been banged in by Lexington Steele. But, along the way, I was treated to an astonishing view of the incredible island that is Nusa Penida. I was meant to go scuba diving with manta rays, but the weather … Continue reading Do you like Penida coladas? And getting caught in the rain?
I spend a lot of time observing people. Or ‘leering’, as the police call it. Anyway, observing the way things work around here has allowed me to come up with a guaranteed way of getting your whale washed in Ubud. You just need to be a long-haired South American dropkick with a name like Ricardo, … Continue reading How to get laid in Ubud
Today I got a bit further out of Ubud, escaped the Japanese tourists and got caught in a monsoon that would kill a normal man. I’m not normal, though, as evidenced by the fact that I went out with my hair in pigtails like some sort of superhero. Having not learnt from previous experiences, I … Continue reading The Village People
Ubud seems a lot further than 32km from Legian. Not just because the trip took two-and-a-half hours (come on Bali, invest in some bypasses), but mainly because I haven’t seen even one heavily-tatted roid midget on a scooter since I got here. Instead, there are heaps of hipster dudes with carefully-manicure beards and approximately half … Continue reading Japandonesia
For someone who’s supposedly not retarded, I do some stupid things. Today I decided to escape the tourists and check out Denpasar City. After looking it up on the map, I started strolling towards it - even though the centre of the joint was about 13km away and the temperature was in the mid-30s. I’m … Continue reading Denpasar, so fuckin’ far
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 