1. I FORTE THE LAW Lisbon doesn't have a spectacular harbour like Sydney, Hong Kong or Woy Woy, but it is on the water, and has a few things to offer those who are after a stroll along the agua. The 25 de Abril bridge looks a bit like that one in San Francisco, but … Continue reading LisVegas: The Six Coolest Things About Lisbon
Lagos is a disgraceful Nigerian city where the kids walk around with AK-47S, the prostitutes are overflowing with AIDS, and every second person is an internet scam artist (hi, Prince Bobongi). So rather than risking my life by going to that Lagos, I went to the Portuguese version, which turned out to be a particularly … Continue reading Livin’ la vida, LAGOS!
My girlfriend is Brazilian, so whenever I do something stupid and she starts yelling at me, I don't have a clue what she's saying because I don't speak Portuguese. It's always "small penis" this and "useless fucking dickhead" that, which makes no sense to me because I don't understand the language. So, in an effort … Continue reading Balls-out in Setúbal
THE LION MONUMENT When bloodthirsty revolutionaries stormed the Tuileries Palace during the 10th of August Insurrection in 1792, more than 600 Swiss guards were slaughtered whilst bravely trying to defend the French royal family. In 1820, this truly moving statue was carved to commemorate their efforts. Whilst the throngs of Chinese tourists with selfie sticks … Continue reading I Love Lucerne: The 5 coolest things about Switzerland’s medieval metropolis
There have been three perfect moments in my life; watching Paul Osborne's around-the-corner offload to Dave Furner during the 1994 grand final, seeing my girlfriend for the first time, and soaring above the unreal azure waters of Interlaken. But they say the darkest night is before the dawn, and that was certainly the case during … Continue reading Interlaken: A paraglider’s paradise
Switzerland is best known for reliable watches, multi-purpose knives, successful tennis players and its lively gangsta rap scene, but all I was really interested in during my visit was climbing a really big mountain and then paragliding into wild. So after bidding adieu to Hamster I headed straight for Interlaken, an adventure playground high up … Continue reading Intensely interesting interactions in Interlaken
"Put your clothes on and get the fuck out of my house! And please remove my turnip strainer from your anus!" Just another day in the home on paragliding, Annecy, France. I opened my eyes to see a very bashful, very naked Hamster hurriedly throwing his clothes into his bag. His arms and legs were … Continue reading The Tour of Annecy
Brazil is a bloody big country - you couldn't walk across it in a day, that's for sure - and boasts a diverse range of environments and cultures. With time running out on my South American adventure (this leg of it, anyway, because it looks like I'll be back there before anyone has a chance … Continue reading Salvador! (Not to be confused with the country of El Salvador, or that weird-moustached painting dude Salvador Dali)
Travel blog-writing wankers with sticks up their arses will tell you that you can't experience everything Rio de Janeiro has to offer in just five hours, but they're wrong - very fucking wrong. With my bus from Floripa taking six hours longer than it should have, and a flight to the northeast of Brazil booked … Continue reading I Go To Rio
Santa Catarina, in the luscious south of Brazil, has so many beaches that you'd go mad if you tried to drink a beer on even a quarter of them in your lifetime. So when it came to organising a romantic weekend away, I allowed my Brazilian lady friend to choose the destination. She has fantastic … Continue reading Praia do Rosa: It’s bloomin’ good!