To Tonga We Go!

Like a cheap prostitute, Suva didn't look any better in the morning. I wanted to check out the city before heading to Tonga, though, so I wandered out into the rain. It's a typical third-world city with beggars, thieves and rubbish everywhere. There's a decent market in the main street, so I rolled along and … Continue reading To Tonga We Go!

Prancing around the Perhentian Islands

The Perhentian Islands, off the east coast of Malaysia, are glorious and unspoilt. However, it seems like I ruined the island experience for two young sausage-munching lasses. I woke up alone, the German girls never having found their bearings and decided to join me in my hut. When I climbed out of bed and staggered … Continue reading Prancing around the Perhentian Islands

Show us ya snorkel!

I woke up bright and early, had a quick breakfast of cereal and tropical fruit, then boarded a gigantic bus for a day of sun and chasing fish around in the clear blue sea. I was late, of course, but after 29 years of that, why change? We drove over to Langkawi's ferry terminal, boarded … Continue reading Show us ya snorkel!

Sailing the seas in a fucking bathtub

It was supposed to be a quiet cruise between tropical islands. Instead it became a terrifying game of life and death that almost led to dozens of deaths. Alright, so I’m exaggerating a bit (and not for the first time. Ask any of my ex-girlfriends). But my trip between Lembongan and the tiny isle of … Continue reading Sailing the seas in a fucking bathtub

A woman laughed at my penis (so what’s new?)

I must’ve been a good boy, because the big fella upstairs decided to present me with bright sunshine when I woke up. After 10 days of rain and shittiness, I didn’t quite understand what I was seeing, but made the most of it by getting out there and exploring Nusa Lembongan. I wanted to go … Continue reading A woman laughed at my penis (so what’s new?)