Drunk and Jobless: The Comic

A few years ago I went on an epic journey through China, Malaysia and Brunei. I almost fell off the Great Wall, got into a fight with violent Hong Kong kung-fuists and passed out under more palm trees than you've had hot dinners. When the proud people of these wonderful Oriental nations finally decided they'd … Continue reading Drunk and Jobless: The Comic

And thus the saga ends…

I'm 10,000 metres about the earth, with endless darkness outside my window and an overweight Malaysian dude drooling onto the lapel of his Hawaiian shirt next to me. My holiday is over, and it's time to head home and face the real world. Fortunately, my last day in Asia provided all the drama and excitement … Continue reading And thus the saga ends…

Another day for Cled and me in paradise

After three-and-a-half weeks of drinking, spewing, exploring, embarrassing myself, falling over, down and into things, running from perverts and chasing women, here it is – my last full day of my holiday. Another glorious Malaysian sky greeted me as I made my way out of my hut at dawn, skipped across the golden sand and … Continue reading Another day for Cled and me in paradise

Prancing around the Perhentian Islands

The Perhentian Islands, off the east coast of Malaysia, are glorious and unspoilt. However, it seems like I ruined the island experience for two young sausage-munching lasses. I woke up alone, the German girls never having found their bearings and decided to join me in my hut. When I climbed out of bed and staggered … Continue reading Prancing around the Perhentian Islands

Welcome to Paradise

Travelling can never be simple for me. If everything went to schedule I'd be catching a taxi to the airport, a plane back to Kuala Lumpur, another plane to Kota Bharu on Malaysia's west coast, a taxi to a tiny little town called Kuala Besut, and then a boat out to the beautiful Perhentian Islands. … Continue reading Welcome to Paradise

Borneo to be wild

Brunei is an incredible and surprising place, full of beauty and wonder, so how did I end up sleeping next to the weirdest, grossest, creepiest bastard in the whole country? I woke up early to a sunny morning, scoffed a balanced breakfast of a packet of chips and a can of Red Bull, then heard the … Continue reading Borneo to be wild

She’s my Brunei girl

Just when you think Malaysian public transport can't get any worse... it does. I woke up to a beautiful day, packed my stuff and headed downstairs to my taxi. It took me through the busy streets of Kuala Lumpur, and I was surprised one last time by how weird the place was. A mix of … Continue reading She’s my Brunei girl

I haven’t seen a cave this big since I fucked yo mama!

Another day, another super-exciting place to visit in Kuala Lumpur! Well, perhaps super-exciting is going a bit far, but I did have my sights set on a place called the Bhatu Caves, which promised a gigantic golden statue, a giant staircase and, well, some caves. It wasn't too far from my hotel – about 12km … Continue reading I haven’t seen a cave this big since I fucked yo mama!

Malaysian Invasion

My hotel stands in the shadows of the Kuala Lumpur Tower, so today I swaggered over there and climbed to the top of it. It offered a grouse view out over a city that is tropical, pretty and clean, but also a little bit bland. After half an hour of gawking out at the skyscrapers … Continue reading Malaysian Invasion

A koala in Lumpur

The good people of Langkawi, Malaysia were thoroughly sick of me by the time I left. But, just as one should never count one's chickens before they hatch, one should also not breathe a sigh of relief before the drunken Aussie is safely packed away on a plane to somewhere else. I woke up early … Continue reading A koala in Lumpur