When lovely ladies find out that I worked for a gentlemen's masturbation manual for seven-and-a-half years, their first question is always, "Why?" Their second is usually, "Can you please get the fuck away from me, you chauvinistic pervert?" My answer is usually along the lines of the fact that, for the first five or so … Continue reading Tales From Pornland: Why I’ll never be Prime Minister
Back when I was drunk and gainfully employed as a writer for porn rag The Picture, it wasn't uncommon for me to appear in many of the magazine's photo shoots. No, I didn't get my dick out or anything (it wouldn't really make sense, unless they gave away magnifying glasses with every copy), but I … Continue reading Tales from Pornland: Barber shops and Brothels
Some people get into journalism to meet world-famous people. Politicians, war heroes, Big Brother winners, that sorta thing. The most famous people I met in my writing career at porn rag The Picture were Mr T, who is a black man, and Jesse Jane, who has had many black men inside her. Mr T was … Continue reading Tales from Pornland: When Row-Row met Jesse Jane
December 3, 2014 was the greatest day of my life. No, I didn’t get a blowjob, and I didn’t find out that Josh Thomas had been run over by a cement truck. That morning I found out that my workplace wanted to pay me a large chunk of money to fuck off and never come … Continue reading You’ve come a long way, baby
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 