The Perhentian Islands, off the east coast of Malaysia, are glorious and unspoilt. However, it seems like I ruined the island experience for two young sausage-munching lasses. I woke up alone, the German girls never having found their bearings and decided to join me in my hut. When I climbed out of bed and staggered … Continue reading Prancing around the Perhentian Islands
Travelling can never be simple for me. If everything went to schedule I'd be catching a taxi to the airport, a plane back to Kuala Lumpur, another plane to Kota Bharu on Malaysia's west coast, a taxi to a tiny little town called Kuala Besut, and then a boat out to the beautiful Perhentian Islands. … Continue reading Welcome to Paradise
Brunei is an incredible and surprising place, full of beauty and wonder, so how did I end up sleeping next to the weirdest, grossest, creepiest bastard in the whole country? I woke up early to a sunny morning, scoffed a balanced breakfast of a packet of chips and a can of Red Bull, then heard the … Continue reading Borneo to be wild
Just when you think Malaysian public transport can't get any worse... it does. I woke up to a beautiful day, packed my stuff and headed downstairs to my taxi. It took me through the busy streets of Kuala Lumpur, and I was surprised one last time by how weird the place was. A mix of … Continue reading She’s my Brunei girl
Another day, another super-exciting place to visit in Kuala Lumpur! Well, perhaps super-exciting is going a bit far, but I did have my sights set on a place called the Bhatu Caves, which promised a gigantic golden statue, a giant staircase and, well, some caves. It wasn't too far from my hotel – about 12km … Continue reading I haven’t seen a cave this big since I fucked yo mama!
My hotel stands in the shadows of the Kuala Lumpur Tower, so today I swaggered over there and climbed to the top of it. It offered a grouse view out over a city that is tropical, pretty and clean, but also a little bit bland. After half an hour of gawking out at the skyscrapers … Continue reading Malaysian Invasion
The good people of Langkawi, Malaysia were thoroughly sick of me by the time I left. But, just as one should never count one's chickens before they hatch, one should also not breathe a sigh of relief before the drunken Aussie is safely packed away on a plane to somewhere else. I woke up early … Continue reading A koala in Lumpur
I woke up bright and early, had a quick breakfast of cereal and tropical fruit, then boarded a gigantic bus for a day of sun and chasing fish around in the clear blue sea. I was late, of course, but after 29 years of that, why change? We drove over to Langkawi's ferry terminal, boarded … Continue reading Show us ya snorkel!
BAM! There it is - hangover hell. When I first opened my eyes, I didn't know where I was or why it felt as if a group of troublemaking kids had been kicking my head in. I was in a wooden hut with a bunch of snoozing drunks, and by the time I stumbled out … Continue reading The burqas are better in Langkawi
I made it through the doors of a taxi and slammed the door just in time to stop one of the pervs grabbing me. I told the driver to get me the fuck out of there, and he burnt out of the car park and towards Penang's ferry terminal. Shit, I'd rather spend three years … Continue reading Getting drunk with K.D. Langkawi
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 