Candidasa is a mystical land full of ancient temples, turquoise beach, and angry monkeys, but the only way to truly appreciate it is from the air. This isolated collection of beaches along the Balinese coast have provided me with an aerial playground that has proven to be nothing short of mind-blowing and life-changing. In short, … Continue reading Sweet like Candi
I haven't received many standing ovations in my life. There was the time I came third in the under-8 boys mini tramp competition at Gosford Youth Centre a few decades ago, the day I came second in a pie-eating contest, and that's about it. Even the ovation I received from impressed onlookers after scoring with … Continue reading Trees-ed to meet you!
I've been as sick as the proverbial dog since getting back from Sri Lanka (who'd think that three months of drinking and making sexies with women of ill repute would have such a negative impact on my health?), so I decided to celebrate my first healthy day in three weeks by going bush. I packed … Continue reading The triumphant return of The Naked Luchador
Sri Lanka doesn’t have a whole lot of Olympic gold medal-winning racewalkers. Alright, there’s Surav Fingabang and Karu Sukadingdong, and Anil Pushapooalong probably would’ve won in 2012 if he hadn’t been bitten by a dog during his warm up, but the fact is these people don’t like walking. There’s a reason for that - it’s … Continue reading You son of a beach!
Trincomalee was a tropical oasis where the biggest problem I had was working out which beer to have with my dinner. And then I went and fucked it all up. One of the women at my hotel took a liking to me, and after serving me extra large portions at dinner to let me know … Continue reading Batti Boy
Everyone loves pigeons. They’re nature’s comedians and very popular with children and the elderly, so when I had a chance to go snorkelling at Pigeon Island, Sri Lanka, I grabbed it with both hands. The opportunity, not an actual pigeon, just to be clear. I jumped on a boat full of happy-faced Asians (you can’t … Continue reading Paddling with Pigeons
I've settled into life in Uppuveli, the beachside community just north of Trincomalee on Sri Lanka's east coast. I spend my days lying on the beach, swimming, and reading. Every night, I sit and eat cheap curry and drink cheap arrak while little Hindu fellas yell their heads off and dance around a fire like … Continue reading The other end of the beach
Beer isn’t easy to come across in Sri Lanka,so when I found a restaurant near my hotel that sells cans of God’s Golden Nectar (alright, the little fellas run down the street and buy it from some bloke and then race back with it, but it’s the same thing), I thought I was in heaven. … Continue reading Lion Strong beer is truly awful
Here’s what I’ve done over the last few days: Sit around, drink beer, eat good food, swim, perv on hot chicks, and sleep. Trincomalee is as good a place as any to hang out if you want to do lazy things (well, unless you want to drink beer on a Sunday, because that’s illegal, which … Continue reading Shit what happens in Sri Lanka
After a few days scratching around the grimiest backstreets Sri Lanka has to offer, today I finally got to take a refreshing dip in the calm, blue waters of the Bay of Bengal. I’ve set up camp in Trincomalee, a seemingly endless stretch of golden sand fringed by swaying palms. There are certainly worse places … Continue reading Sober in Sri Lanka
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 