I've settled into life in Uppuveli, the beachside community just north of Trincomalee on Sri Lanka's east coast. I spend my days lying on the beach, swimming, and reading. Every night, I sit and eat cheap curry and drink cheap arrak while little Hindu fellas yell their heads off and dance around a fire like … Continue reading The other end of the beach
Beer isn’t easy to come across in Sri Lanka,so when I found a restaurant near my hotel that sells cans of God’s Golden Nectar (alright, the little fellas run down the street and buy it from some bloke and then race back with it, but it’s the same thing), I thought I was in heaven. … Continue reading Lion Strong beer is truly awful
Here’s what I’ve done over the last few days: Sit around, drink beer, eat good food, swim, perv on hot chicks, and sleep. Trincomalee is as good a place as any to hang out if you want to do lazy things (well, unless you want to drink beer on a Sunday, because that’s illegal, which … Continue reading Shit what happens in Sri Lanka
After a few days scratching around the grimiest backstreets Sri Lanka has to offer, today I finally got to take a refreshing dip in the calm, blue waters of the Bay of Bengal. I’ve set up camp in Trincomalee, a seemingly endless stretch of golden sand fringed by swaying palms. There are certainly worse places … Continue reading Sober in Sri Lanka
There are few cities as deliciously-named as Kandy. Wattanobbi has to be up there, of course, and Grogan, Queensland must rate a mention, but the Sri Lankan city of Kandy tops them all. And I'm pleased to report that I had a really 'sweet' time exploring the place. With only one full day to see … Continue reading Kandy, Kandy, Kandy, I can’t let you go…
Sri Lanka's known for lots of things. Extreme poverty. Hot curries. The exotic bowling style of Muttiah Muralitharan. The country is not, however, know for having a great public transport system. That's because it's a load of shit, and getting from Point A to Point B is as difficult as explaining the theory of relativity … Continue reading Hell Bus
I had a few too many bottles of Lion beer last night, so when I woke up this morning I was both hungover and very confused. I thought I was still in Europe, and stumbled outside to grab myself something delicious from a bakery. I didn’t take long for my confusion to subside. “Hello sir! … Continue reading “Hello sir! Where you from? Where you going?”
And so, after spending many lifetimes in Europe, I find myself in Sri Lanka. From the frozen tundra of Estonia to the white peaks of Slovakia, and the rocky peaks of Montenegro to the clear blue waters of Greece, now I’m surrounded by palm trees, curry, and annoying little men trying to sell me shit … Continue reading A Wanker in Sri Lanka
Sometimes the greatest love can start out as something closer to revulsion - just ask my ex-girlfriend. It was like that with Paros, with my first impressions being only slightly more positive than the rambling poetry of a suicidal teenager. When I first stepped foot on this quiet Greek island, I wanted to step right … Continue reading Beauty and the Greek
After the chaos of Santorini, with bikes and dickheads and Chinese tourists flying everywhere, Paros has proven to be the quiet, relaxing getaway I was craving. Alright, so I spent most of my time in Santorini lying by the pool or bludging around in the sun in my undies, but I still needed to spend … Continue reading Paros in the spring (or, is that tzatziki sauce on your pants, or are you just happy to see me?)
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 