Waking up with an immense hangover after another night of drinking meant there was only one option for the day - a tour of the Cascade Brewery, in South Hobart, for some hair of the dog. After stopping off in the centre of town so Ben could grab himself another Dagwood Dog, we wandered through … Continue reading Beer, berks and bruises: A trip to the Cascade Brewery
I'm well known to be a lover of culture, so today I hung around inside MONA. No, I don't mean the chick from last night, I'm talking about Hobart's Museum of Old and Modern Art. Yeah, I know, there's a few extra letters in there, but who gives a shit? Let's get into it. The … Continue reading Hey MONA, ooh MONA!
After another wild night on the booze, I woke up feeling rubbish and confused, with people rushing around me carrying boxes of cider. There was a big microbrewery festival in Hobart, my uncle and auntie were showing off their cider, and I was invited! Or, at least, they didn't tell me I couldn't come. Before … Continue reading It all started with a Dagwood Dog…
Tasmania is a wild land, so today me and my brother hired a wild car to take us around the island - an automatic Nissan Micra that is as powerful as Josh Thomas with a turnip up his blurter. Ben was particularly proud of his snazzy new dream mobile. We headed out to Port Arthur, … Continue reading Port Arthur McArthur
Last night, me and my brother and my aunty and uncle drank and danced until the sun came up. I woke up on the floor, feeling as if an Asian karate man had been kicking my head in, and then decided to do what no hungover man should - climb up a massive mountain. I'm … Continue reading Real (stupid) men drink till 4:30am, then wake up and climb a mountain
After a few months of sitting around and fiddling with myself, it’s time for the Bauer Media Drunk & Jobless World Tour to start up again. This time the adventure has taken me to the Apple isle of Tasmania, which is sometimes unkindly called the arsehole of the universe, but which is actually quite nice. … Continue reading Journey to the end of the world
Last weekend I headed to Maitland Gaol to embark on something called a team building day with a bunch of people I work with. First up was a tour of the gaol with a former inmate, and t I was also surprised (and delighted) to discover that there's a lot more bum sex in Australian … Continue reading I went to a nightclub (and didn’t get wanked off even once)
There are many things I've done that I'm not proud of. Having sex with that chick in the wheelchair, for instance, and getting my penis stuck in a mouse trap. One thing I am proud of, however, is writing a book. It's called Red, White & Bruce and, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there … Continue reading Red, White & Bruce
When lovely ladies find out that I worked for a gentlemen's masturbation manual for seven-and-a-half years, their first question is always, "Why?" Their second is usually, "Can you please get the fuck away from me, you chauvinistic pervert?" My answer is usually along the lines of the fact that, for the first five or so … Continue reading Tales From Pornland: Why I’ll never be Prime Minister
Hiking through Olney State Forest is a bit like getting a lap dance off your best mate's mother - pleasant and refreshing, but not overly exciting, with the whole experience leaving you feeling dirty at the end of it. I've been as busy as Rolph Harris in a kindergarten lately and haven't had a chance … Continue reading Olney the lonely
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 