There once was a girl from ChinchillaWith a melon the size of GodzillaFor a beer and a smileShe'd get fucked doggy styleThat girl grew up to become Ben Stiller
With the stunning-to-look-at-yet-infested-with-parasites Lake Malawi threatening to kill me, today I decide to head for higher ground where I might be a bit safer. There are some awesome mountains around Cape Maclear, so I put on my walkin' boots and went for a strut. Little did I know that I would've had less trouble drinking … Continue reading The Marvelous Mountain Man of Malawi
I love a good sunset. They’re pretty, they don’t take much effort to enjoy, and they perfectly compliment an icy cold beer. If I found a woman with all those qualities, I’d be sorted for a long and happy life. Bali is a great place to watch the sun sink below the horizon while sinking … Continue reading Sunsets in Bali-dise
Sri Lanka doesn’t have a whole lot of Olympic gold medal-winning racewalkers. Alright, there’s Surav Fingabang and Karu Sukadingdong, and Anil Pushapooalong probably would’ve won in 2012 if he hadn’t been bitten by a dog during his warm up, but the fact is these people don’t like walking. There’s a reason for that - it’s … Continue reading You son of a beach!
My first full day in Dubrovnik, Croatia started out wetter than Mikey Robbins’ arse-crack at a Zumba lesson, but the rain soon pissed off and allowed me to explore this interesting, if very touristy city. It’s not a big place, with only 40,000 permanent residents, so walking all over the shop isn’t tough at all. … Continue reading Drunk in Dubrovnik
The good people of Langkawi, Malaysia were thoroughly sick of me by the time I left. But, just as one should never count one's chickens before they hatch, one should also not breathe a sigh of relief before the drunken Aussie is safely packed away on a plane to somewhere else. I woke up early … Continue reading A koala in Lumpur
After a 32 hour trip back from India that involved a taxi, a flight, another taxi (and nearly a mugging), another flight, another another flight, a train, another train, and a walk through the mud, I’m finally back home. Alright, so I’ve been back a few days, but I’ve been a busy boy, so forgive … Continue reading Back where I belong
For someone who’s supposedly not retarded, I do some stupid things. Today I decided to escape the tourists and check out Denpasar City. After looking it up on the map, I started strolling towards it - even though the centre of the joint was about 13km away and the temperature was in the mid-30s. I’m … Continue reading Denpasar, so fuckin’ far