After three days in Guilin that were as sweet as the contents of a fat kid's lunch box, it was time to jump on a plane and fly over to Hong Kong. With a mid-afternoon flight, there wasn't a lot of time to do anything special, so I took one last walk around Guilin and … Continue reading Doggy Style
For a city of five million people, Guilin is simply stunning. Its natural wonders of green hills and sparkling rivers meld perfectly with housing blocks and busy streets to create a completely unique city unlike any other on the planet. So today I decided to get out there and explore it. First stop was Guilin's … Continue reading You put your right foot Guil-in, you put your right fot Guil-out
I think it's fitting that Guilin, a place I've been trying to get to for half my years, is a great metaphor for life. Ready for it? Sweet! For me, Guilin is like finally scoring with the girl of your dreams, only to have her tell you about that time she pulled the train for … Continue reading The Endless River
Oh, bloody hell, I'm pretty sure a homeless Chinaman snuck into my room while I was asleep and shat in my mouth. I woke up shortly after passing out, feeling rubbish and needing to quickly pack my stuff and get out of there. My train was at 3:44pm and I wanted to check out the … Continue reading Beijing to Guilin in 27-and-a-half hours
What do China and Kings Cross have in common? You can't visit either of them without checking out the wall. Unfortunately, the Chinese version didn't have any heroin-addicted blokes to root, but it was plenty of fun just the same. I wasn't keen on visiting the main tourist part of the Great Wall 'cos it's … Continue reading Another Dick on the Wall
With no concrete plans for the day, I just got up and started walking. The Forbidden City sounded like a fun place to see, so I started wandering in that general direction, finding a lovely little park on the way. Of course, Jingshan Park was crawling with people and about as relaxing as a bubble … Continue reading I (heart) BJ!
Not content with spending my first two days in Shanghai wandering aimlessly, I did the same today. With a few hours to murder before jumping on a train to Beijing, I swaggered off find something to eat. Of course, I did what I do best and got lost, heading down tiny, filthy alleyways while the … Continue reading Journey to the end of the east Beijing
I put a lot of effort into finding the only bar on this island that shows live sport. And when they got there, instead of the Dogs versus Water Snakes game, they played the Storm versus Drag Queens game from last week. So, of course, I had to console myself with some nachos. They looked … Continue reading Over here, nachos are made of coleslaw
After spending eight hours fanging along dirt tracks on a motorbike, my back door feels like it’s been banged in by Lexington Steele. But, along the way, I was treated to an astonishing view of the incredible island that is Nusa Penida. I was meant to go scuba diving with manta rays, but the weather … Continue reading Do you like Penida coladas? And getting caught in the rain?
I can’t believe I got out of Padang Bai with both my kidneys still inside my body and without having a rat gnaw my face off as I slept. Honestly, I think the shit and vomit I left in the broken toilet probably doubled the value of the place. Good fucking riddance. After a ride … Continue reading Padang Bai? How about Padang Fuck Off?
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 