Big Things (and not so big things)

While in Lake Innes on my paramagliding adventure, I’m staying at a petting zoo. there are llamas and alpacas and other stupid-looking beasties wandering around, and this morning I was awoken by the insane bleating of a herd of horny billy goats. I won’t tell my mate Dean* about it, or the dirty bastard will be up here in a shot.

Goat fuck yourself, mate!

I like big things (so do all of my ex-girlfriends, which is probably why none of them liked me too much), so I headed down to Kew, to see the Big Axe. They’re not bullshitting with the name, either, because it’s fucking huge – far too large to be put into practical usage by the timber-cutting industry, but impressive nonetheless.

I’ve got an axe to grind with you!

From there I headed east towards one of my favourite towns in the world, Laurieton. I’ve been in love with this joint since I came here to get my paragliding license a year ago. It was, without hyperbole, the best week-and-a-half of my life, so I’ll always have a place in my heart for Laurieton.

I wanna flyyyyyy sky hiiiiigh!

Today I decided to tackle the formidable Queenslake Track. Alright, it’s not that formidable – it’s a 3.2km amble along the lake’s edge, and it’s really quite lovely. With a smile on my face and a song in my heart, I trotted along the track, marvelling at the water views and enjoying the handsome boardwalk.


It’s an easy and peaceful journey, and illustrates the beauty of this place. I’ve been thinking of moving up this way for a while, and this afternoon simply reinforced those thoughts. If you’re up this way, dont think twice about stopping in Laurieton and having a walk along this picturesque lake.

Not a bad place to eat some meat

Unfortunately, while trotting along my shorts became quite loose and fell off. As I was attempting to pull them up, I was startled by a possum and had to seek refuge in a tree. I was terrified! To make matters worse, my phone somehow took a photo of me during my darkest moment and, in the interests of journalistic integrity, I’m putting that photo up to illustrate my pain.

Yep… I’m still single!

As I was climbing up, a senior gentleman came ambling round the corner, and when he saw me he had a chuckle to himself. “We never used to do that in my day, but it looks like plenty of fun,” he smirked. “Of course, if I was hanging out of a tree with my daks off like that, my dick would be dragging in the dirt.” And with a spring in his step, he disappeared down the track.


4 thoughts on “Big Things (and not so big things)

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