Since arriving in Puerto Varas, Chile, a few days ago, the mammoth spectre of Volcan Osorno has been haunting me. The ancient behemoth has been hiding behind the clouds, peering out sporadically to give me some idea of his glory, before disappearing again. I'd had enough, so today I decided to go out and find … Continue reading Osorno Volcano is Beuno!
After sleeping off my hangover, I woke up bright and early and ready to hike to the top of Volcan Villarrica, near Pucon in Chile. But when I skipped outside, the big bastard wasn't there anymore. It was like he'd thrown up his massive molten hands during the night, said 'Fuck it' and just walked … Continue reading The Wetter the Better in Parque Nacional Huerquehue
The seaside village of Patonga is one of the nicest spots on Central Coast of NSW, with calm waters, golden sand and spectacular views across the water to the Northern Beaches. If you just want to rock up, have a decent feed at the pub and enjoy the serenity, that's great, but the area is … Continue reading Patonga to Mt Wondabyne Overnight Hike
Of all the monkeys in the world, the baboon is definitely the sexiest. Sure, some people prefer orangutans, and gibbons certainly have their charms, but baboons really know how to turn on the charm and flaunt their simian sexiness. I've seen plenty of beautiful 'boons loitering by the side of the ride as I've ruised … Continue reading A baboon with a view
I loved my time in Mossel Bay, but after the locals realised I wasn't family, it was time for me to leave. The name of one town along South Africa's Garden Route really stood out to me, so I jumped in the Jimmy Savile Mobile and drove at a reasonable speed towards the tiny village … Continue reading Into the Wilderness
With no idea where to head next on my tour of South Africa, i decided to ask the campy owner of my hotel in Stellenbosch if he had any recommendations. "Muscled gay," he replied saucily, while licking his lips. "I appreciate the compliment of my chiseled physique," I replied, "but I was hoping you could … Continue reading Check out my Mossels
I had such a grouse time in the mountains surrounding Stellenbosch yesterday that I decided to spend an extra day here rather than heading to South Africa's south coast. Stella is the second-oldest settlement in the country and is famous for its French-style streets and buildings, so I cruised my crappy rental Hyundai into the … Continue reading An absolute Paarl-er
It was time to bid bon appetit to Cape Town, and my plan was to grab a rental car and cruise over to Mossel Bay to explore the world famous Garden Route. But after spending three hours desperately trying to organise wheels, and eventually ending up with something you'd expet a sex offender to cruise … Continue reading Stellenbosch? More like stellar-bosch, yeah!
Most hikers prepare for a massive day of climbing by getting a good night's sleep and waking up fresh ready to go. I prepared to ascend two of South Africa's most famous peaks by drinking 12 beers and waking up in bed with some girl I barely recognised. Still, it was a perfect day to … Continue reading Lion’s Head and Table Mountain in one day? Madness!
The last time I tried to go on an overnight hike above the tiny riverside village of Wondabyne, I was somewhat less than successful. Alright, that's an understatement - I had to call my mum to come and get me because I was at risk of being flooded out. So when I set out once … Continue reading Girra-kool? No, Girra-wet!
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 