Nofo a, Tonga!

All good things have to come to an end. Bros broke up, Ship 2 Shore ended, and now my travels through the Pacific Islands are done and dusted. I woke up early to watch the sun rise over the waters of Vava'u, Tonga, then packed my bags and got out of there. During the short … Continue reading Nofo a, Tonga!

How the fuck do I get off this island?

They take their religion seriously in Tonga, so Nuku'alofa on a Sunday is emptier than the Cronulla Skarks' trophy cabinet. All the shops are closed, there are barely any cars on the streets, and there's not a lot to do in town. So I decided to head out to Pangaimotu, a tiny island about half-and-hour's … Continue reading How the fuck do I get off this island?

I vomited in front of the Tongan national squash champion

More. Fucken. Rain. I couldn't believe that the shit weather had infested yet another country. I sat around fuming, until eventually the sun peaked out from between the clouds around midday, and I decided to head off and explore the Kingdom of Tonga. With the weather improving by the minute, I had a pleasant swagger … Continue reading I vomited in front of the Tongan national squash champion

Leaving Samoa

I could spend the rest of my life in Samoa, so it was with sadness that I left this pristine paradise for another jewel of the Pacific - Fiji. With a 10am ferry to catch on the other side of the island, I didn't have time to enjoy the delights of Satuituti this morning. I … Continue reading Leaving Samoa

There’s nowhere safer than a large Samoan man’s knee

I was worried about my portly admirer coming back for more action, so I decided to move on from Tanu Beach. After a quick snorkel and a wander through the village, I stopped off at Henry's place to say goodbye. We ended up chatting for an hour so, with the topics ranging from the women … Continue reading There’s nowhere safer than a large Samoan man’s knee

Going down in Samoa

I wanted to do something for the first time and, since that chick from The Big Bang Theory hasn't be answering my emails, I decided on scuba diving. A happy-go-lucky Austrian named Olaf, from Dive Savai'i, picked me up at 8am, and in no time I was being strapped to a scuba tank. After a … Continue reading Going down in Samoa

I’m a Savai’i-ver!

Last night, I had the best sleep of my life. Alright, second best, after that time I tried heroin. I woke up to brilliant sunshine and swaying palm trees, then matched it with a giant breakfast of cereal, fruit, eggs and toast. I can tell you, the morning after my experience with heroin wasn't anywhere … Continue reading I’m a Savai’i-ver!

Getting stoned in Samoa isn’t as fun as it sounds

Despite quaffing only 12 beers the night before, I woke up with a hangover that could kill a Somali pirate. But it's hard to complain when the view from your fale looks straight onto the beach - and all for the bargain price of $20 a night! My headache was sorted out with a snorkel, … Continue reading Getting stoned in Samoa isn’t as fun as it sounds

Rowan the Samoan

Samoa, hey? Twenty-seven degrees at five in the morning, which is slightly more comfortable than the 11 degrees Sydney was enjoying when I flew out five hours earlier. I could definitely get used to this over the next three weeks, as I prance around the Pacific on a holiday that will also take in Fiji … Continue reading Rowan the Samoan