Nofo a, Tonga!

All good things have to come to an end. Bros broke up, Ship 2 Shore ended, and now my travels through the Pacific Islands are done and dusted. I woke up early to watch the sun rise over the waters of Vava'u, Tonga, then packed my bags and got out of there. During the short … Continue reading Nofo a, Tonga!

Big Trouble in Little Tonga

My journey to the tropical island of Vava’u was supposed to be a quiet, relaxing end to my trip through Tonga – a few days on the beach, some beers, that sort of thing. Instead it became a nightmarish fight for survival that pushed me past my limits and almost cost me my life. I’d … Continue reading Big Trouble in Little Tonga

How the fuck do I get off this island?

They take their religion seriously in Tonga, so Nuku'alofa on a Sunday is emptier than the Cronulla Skarks' trophy cabinet. All the shops are closed, there are barely any cars on the streets, and there's not a lot to do in town. So I decided to head out to Pangaimotu, a tiny island about half-and-hour's … Continue reading How the fuck do I get off this island?

I vomited in front of the Tongan national squash champion

More. Fucken. Rain. I couldn't believe that the shit weather had infested yet another country. I sat around fuming, until eventually the sun peaked out from between the clouds around midday, and I decided to head off and explore the Kingdom of Tonga. With the weather improving by the minute, I had a pleasant swagger … Continue reading I vomited in front of the Tongan national squash champion

To Tonga We Go!

Like a cheap prostitute, Suva didn't look any better in the morning. I wanted to check out the city before heading to Tonga, though, so I wandered out into the rain. It's a typical third-world city with beggars, thieves and rubbish everywhere. There's a decent market in the main street, so I rolled along and … Continue reading To Tonga We Go!

Leaving Samoa

I could spend the rest of my life in Samoa, so it was with sadness that I left this pristine paradise for another jewel of the Pacific - Fiji. With a 10am ferry to catch on the other side of the island, I didn't have time to enjoy the delights of Satuituti this morning. I … Continue reading Leaving Samoa

There’s nowhere safer than a large Samoan man’s knee

I was worried about my portly admirer coming back for more action, so I decided to move on from Tanu Beach. After a quick snorkel and a wander through the village, I stopped off at Henry's place to say goodbye. We ended up chatting for an hour so, with the topics ranging from the women … Continue reading There’s nowhere safer than a large Samoan man’s knee

Going down in Samoa

I wanted to do something for the first time and, since that chick from The Big Bang Theory hasn't be answering my emails, I decided on scuba diving. A happy-go-lucky Austrian named Olaf, from Dive Savai'i, picked me up at 8am, and in no time I was being strapped to a scuba tank. After a … Continue reading Going down in Samoa

I’m a Savai’i-ver!

Last night, I had the best sleep of my life. Alright, second best, after that time I tried heroin. I woke up to brilliant sunshine and swaying palm trees, then matched it with a giant breakfast of cereal, fruit, eggs and toast. I can tell you, the morning after my experience with heroin wasn't anywhere … Continue reading I’m a Savai’i-ver!