Wild horses couldn't have dragged me away from Brazil's welcoming bosom, but there was one thing that could lure me away - the promise of a few weeks of sublime paragliding above the Alps with Hamster. So I packed my G-string away, skolled my last bottle of Brahma, and hopped on a plane to France. … Continue reading Anarchy in Annecy
The mission to Moscow is over and I'm back in a country where I can walk down the street without being questioned by the cops or attacked by some vodka-guzzling nutter in an imitation Adidas tracksuit. Here are a whole bunch of reasons why you should visit this most unusual country (or, if you enjoy … Continue reading 73 or 74 reasons to visit Russia
Let's face it, the Russians love to have a good fight. Whether it's a war against the Western world or a backyard scrap between two boozed-up homeless blokes, these proud Slavic people are always getting stuck into someone. Moscow's Central Armed Forces Museum serves as a tribute to their history of hurting people, and has … Continue reading Armed and Dangerous
Everybody likes looking at dead bodies - it's one of life's simple pleasures. Sure, you wouldn't want to see a rotting corpse climbing out of a grave while you're walking home late at night, or catch one rooting your missus, but it's usually a lot of fun to have a squiz at someone who isn't … Continue reading Nightmare at the Mausoleum
Europe is know for a lot of things; beautiful scenery, wonderful beer,deliciously unhealthy food and gorgeous women who don't need a lot of convincing to take off their clothes in public. One thing Europe's not known for is massive fuck-off buildings, with cities around here prefering to have lovely little opera houses and thousand-year-old huts … Continue reading The Fortress in the Sky
The Russians are a religious bunch. Well, you'd be pretty open-minded to stories about mystical beings and reincarnated zombies if you spent 25 hours a day pissed off your head. For this reason, the Federation is home to some of the most exquisite churches this side of Samoa, and none of them are prettier than … Continue reading Show me the monastery!
There are more than 13 million people in Moscow, and sooner or later every single one of them is going to cark it. Of course, with the amount of vodka the Russians guzzle, they'll leave a bunch of well-preserved corpses, but all those bodies have to go somewhere. Not surprisingly, you can't swing a lynx … Continue reading Cemetery Man – Exploring Moscow’s Incredible Graveyards
The 1960s were known for two things; spunky hippies who did heaps of drugs and fucked everyone in sight, and the epic space race between the USA and the USSR. The spunky hippies are now saggy grandmothers, but at least the history of Societ space travel has been well preserved, thanks to Moscow's Memorial Museum … Continue reading Out of this World: The Moscow Cosmonaut Museum and how I chose love over the opportunity to be crowned King of the Universe
After a week spent hanging out with my beautiful Russian girlfriend Lena in Moscow, she decided to not send me to the gulag and instead introduce me to her family. It's a good sign for the relationship, seeing as my last girlfriend forced me to pretend I was her gay cousin when we bumped into … Continue reading A Kiss on the Lipetsk
I might spend my days sleeping until 3pm and watching old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons in my undies, but my girlfriend is a valuable member of society and has a big-person job to go to, so today I was left to explore Moscow on my own. Not wanting to be a typical tourist, I … Continue reading It’s Hip to be Red Square
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 