BAM! There it is - hangover hell. When I first opened my eyes, I didn't know where I was or why it felt as if a group of troublemaking kids had been kicking my head in. I was in a wooden hut with a bunch of snoozing drunks, and by the time I stumbled out … Continue reading The burqas are better in Langkawi
I made it through the doors of a taxi and slammed the door just in time to stop one of the pervs grabbing me. I told the driver to get me the fuck out of there, and he burnt out of the car park and towards Penang's ferry terminal. Shit, I'd rather spend three years … Continue reading Getting drunk with K.D. Langkawi
After thee days in Hong Kong I was ready to get out of the place, but I had a full day to kill till my flight at 8 o'clock. I slept in, then thought about taking a ferry to the ancient land of Macau, then decided to just catch a ferry to Wan Chai, then … Continue reading So long, Hong Kong (and hello, creepy Malaysian perverts)
After spending the last week really, really wanting to go to the beach, today I, uh, went to the beach. I used the internet for something other than searching for videos of fat people falling over and discovered a little place called Shek O, not far out of town on Hong Kong Island, and caught … Continue reading I will be your prisoner, I will be your Shek-O
If I was to make a list of ways I'd like to spend a Saturday morning, climbing up a 600m cliff with a 15km pack on my back probably wouldn't make it on there. But that's just what I did a couple of days ago, when I travelled to Lake St. Clair, north of Singleton, … Continue reading Paramagliding from the mountain of death
When I stepped out into the streets of Hong Kong I expected to see Oriental dudes doing flying kicks and those big, ceremonial dragons dancing down every laneway, but there was none of that. It turns out that's just a cliche and the Chinese don't really... oh wait, that's exactly what I saw as I … Continue reading The King of Kowloon
When I was a kid, me and my mates would spend most weekends exploring the National Parks around the Central Coast; camping, climbing trees, swimming in water holes, all that good stuff. Then we grew up and less important things like work and girls got in the way, and life got sanitary and boring. I … Continue reading The Wondabyne Years
I knew there was something weird about Anaconda Adventure Store as soon as I arrived at the orientation day. They handed me an embarrassing vest to wear and made me march around the room chanting the bizarre anthem of the shop, which went something like, “Anaconda is the place/saviour of the human race/mountain high and … Continue reading Getting pissed at work
I haven’t always been drunk and jobless. When I was younger and hadn’t yet worked out what I wanted to do with my life (which, as it turns out, consists of little more than getting drunk and watching pro wrestling), I worked a whole bunch of shitty retail jobs. I got fired from each and … Continue reading How I lost my job as an inflatable Santa
After three days in Guilin that were as sweet as the contents of a fat kid's lunch box, it was time to jump on a plane and fly over to Hong Kong. With a mid-afternoon flight, there wasn't a lot of time to do anything special, so I took one last walk around Guilin and … Continue reading Doggy Style
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 