After three-and-a-half weeks of drinking, spewing, exploring, embarrassing myself, falling over, down and into things, running from perverts and chasing women, here it is – my last full day of my holiday. Another glorious Malaysian sky greeted me as I made my way out of my hut at dawn, skipped across the golden sand and … Continue reading Another day for Cled and me in paradise
The Perhentian Islands, off the east coast of Malaysia, are glorious and unspoilt. However, it seems like I ruined the island experience for two young sausage-munching lasses. I woke up alone, the German girls never having found their bearings and decided to join me in my hut. When I climbed out of bed and staggered … Continue reading Prancing around the Perhentian Islands
BAM! There it is - hangover hell. When I first opened my eyes, I didn't know where I was or why it felt as if a group of troublemaking kids had been kicking my head in. I was in a wooden hut with a bunch of snoozing drunks, and by the time I stumbled out … Continue reading The burqas are better in Langkawi
I made it through the doors of a taxi and slammed the door just in time to stop one of the pervs grabbing me. I told the driver to get me the fuck out of there, and he burnt out of the car park and towards Penang's ferry terminal. Shit, I'd rather spend three years … Continue reading Getting drunk with K.D. Langkawi
After spending the last week really, really wanting to go to the beach, today I, uh, went to the beach. I used the internet for something other than searching for videos of fat people falling over and discovered a little place called Shek O, not far out of town on Hong Kong Island, and caught … Continue reading I will be your prisoner, I will be your Shek-O
From Hell to Heaven in nine hours. Not since God found out Mother Theresa appeared in Anal Gangbang Sluts 7 to pay her way through uni has a journey between the two been made so quickly. I left the shit stain that is Jaipur and flew south to the tiny beach state of Goa. I'd … Continue reading Row Row at Go Goa
Yesterday, my journey moved on to Kuta. No, I didn’t go back to that rubbish shithole with all the roid midgets and fat fucks on scooters, I came to Kuta Lombok, a similarly-named but completely different place that is actually quite stunning. But it was a memorable trip here… My driver was Ekka, a lovely … Continue reading Eating, fucking and sleeping: Ekka’s guide to the galaxy
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 