The Drunk and Jobless World Tour
Getting wasted in exotic places
Those half-Asian-half-European women are the hottest in the world, so when a bloke I met in a pub told me about a city that's half in Asia, half in Europe, I knew I had to go there. Next thing I know, I'm in Istanbul, Turkey, marvelling at what is a bloody great city. The sprawling … Continue reading A Goose in Turkey
For years I've dreamt of becoming a pro wrestling superstar, smashing chumps over the head with chairs and flexing my glistening muscles for my adoring fans. But I'm lazy and usually hungover, so I've never bothered to make my dream a reality. Fate, however, decided that hammering big, sweaty blokes in the ring pummeling idiots … Continue reading Portuguese Heavyweight Wrestling Champion of Portugal
ORIGINAL SINTRA The medieval town of Sintra is less than an hour from the heart of Lisbon by train, and is home to a really cool castle, so you'd have to be a complete Wally not to go out there. The town itself is situated in a lush valley, with the ancient monuments perched high … Continue reading LisVegas: The Six Coolest Things About Lisbon (Part II)
1. I FORTE THE LAW Lisbon doesn't have a spectacular harbour like Sydney, Hong Kong or Woy Woy, but it is on the water, and has a few things to offer those who are after a stroll along the agua. The 25 de Abril bridge looks a bit like that one in San Francisco, but … Continue reading LisVegas: The Six Coolest Things About Lisbon
Lagos is a disgraceful Nigerian city where the kids walk around with AK-47S, the prostitutes are overflowing with AIDS, and every second person is an internet scam artist (hi, Prince Bobongi). So rather than risking my life by going to that Lagos, I went to the Portuguese version, which turned out to be a particularly … Continue reading Livin’ la vida, LAGOS!
My girlfriend is Brazilian, so whenever I do something stupid and she starts yelling at me, I don't have a clue what she's saying because I don't speak Portuguese. It's always "small penis" this and "useless fucking dickhead" that, which makes no sense to me because I don't understand the language. So, in an effort … Continue reading Balls-out in Setúbal
THE LION MONUMENT When bloodthirsty revolutionaries stormed the Tuileries Palace during the 10th of August Insurrection in 1792, more than 600 Swiss guards were slaughtered whilst bravely trying to defend the French royal family. In 1820, this truly moving statue was carved to commemorate their efforts. Whilst the throngs of Chinese tourists with selfie sticks … Continue reading I Love Lucerne: The 5 coolest things about Switzerland’s medieval metropolis
There have been three perfect moments in my life; watching Paul Osborne's around-the-corner offload to Dave Furner during the 1994 grand final, seeing my girlfriend for the first time, and soaring above the unreal azure waters of Interlaken. But they say the darkest night is before the dawn, and that was certainly the case during … Continue reading Interlaken: A paraglider’s paradise
Switzerland is best known for reliable watches, multi-purpose knives, successful tennis players and its lively gangsta rap scene, but all I was really interested in during my visit was climbing a really big mountain and then paragliding into wild. So after bidding adieu to Hamster I headed straight for Interlaken, an adventure playground high up … Continue reading Intensely interesting interactions in Interlaken
Our time in Annecy flowed along like water down the majestic Thiou River. Hamster and I flew our paragliders over the Alps all day and drank all night with Marque, Gaz and the other legends, soaking in their knowledge of the sport and the surrounds. Our skills and confidence improved as we pushed our limits … Continue reading The Rise and Fall of Ricardo Q. Hamster, Esq.
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 