The three weeks I've spent in Candidasa have been more fun that a barrel full of greased-up monkeys. Apart from the 25 hours spent cruising the clear, blue skies of Bali, my days and nights have been filled with heavy drinking, good eating, frantic dancing, mesmerising snorkelling, brutal violence and even a touch of romance … Continue reading An Intimate Close Up of a Street Punk in Candidasa
The water off Paje's eastern coast is a bit like a Russian chick's skirt; it looks brilliant, and any self-respecting bloke wants to see what's underneath it. So today I grabbed my snorkel and went down below for a few hours. Oh, I'm talking about snorkelling, you sicko! And as you can see from these really, … Continue reading Fish, fish, everywhere!
Everyone loves pigeons. They’re nature’s comedians and very popular with children and the elderly, so when I had a chance to go snorkelling at Pigeon Island, Sri Lanka, I grabbed it with both hands. The opportunity, not an actual pigeon, just to be clear. I jumped on a boat full of happy-faced Asians (you can’t … Continue reading Paddling with Pigeons
HOLIDAY HELL Bro, what's cracking? I'm going well, thanks for asking. You write about all these cool places you're always visiting, and most of them sound fucking fantastic. I'm unemployed and have a severe drug addiction, so I won't be travelling anywhere for a while (I'm also out on parole, so the cunts at the … Continue reading More of the world’s worst advice
After my terrifying near-death experience, I wanted to spend my last full day in Tonga in a more relaxed way. And that's exactly what I did, by heading out to the beach and doing as little as possible. Sure, by the end of the day I would have cheated death once again, but... well, it's … Continue reading One Fine Day in Vava’u (or, That’s the most dangerous box I’ve encountered since my ex-girlfriend dumped me!)
I was woken by an intense banging, but it wasn't in my brain - it mean a manta ray had been sighted off the shore and I could go swim with it! The sun was peeking through the clouds and, half drunk, I raced down to jump in a boat and see the big, dumb … Continue reading Buster gets busted!
I was up at 6:30 and, unlike the morning after most alcohol-fused binges, I felt great. Shit, I need to skoll kava and dance with Fijiian men every night. The weather wasn't feeling so beaut, though, and it was piddling down on the Yasawa Islands, Fij. I spent the first half of the day just … Continue reading Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I masturbated too much when I was seventeen?
Travelling can never be simple for me. If everything went to schedule I'd be catching a taxi to the airport, a plane back to Kuala Lumpur, another plane to Kota Bharu on Malaysia's west coast, a taxi to a tiny little town called Kuala Besut, and then a boat out to the beautiful Perhentian Islands. … Continue reading Welcome to Paradise
I woke up bright and early, had a quick breakfast of cereal and tropical fruit, then boarded a gigantic bus for a day of sun and chasing fish around in the clear blue sea. I was late, of course, but after 29 years of that, why change? We drove over to Langkawi's ferry terminal, boarded … Continue reading Show us ya snorkel!