It's almost impossible to top a visit to Lithgow, but as I continued my journey to rekindle an old flame in Orange, I was determined to make the most of it. My next stop was Bathurst, which is Australia's oldest inland city and was founded on gold. Who cares about any of that, though - … Continue reading The King of Bathurst
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour™ has readers from across the planet, and one thing my fans are always asking me is whether it's worth flying to Australia just to see the famous Dog on the Tucker Box at Gundagai. I wrote about this legendary roadside attraction a year ago but, in the interest of providing … Continue reading The Dog on the Tucker Box
I joke around a lot here at Drunk and Jobless, but I’ve had my fair share of sad and fucked up events. One that stands out is the day I found out a pretty lady I was seeing fucked dudes for money… and was apparently very good at it. The first time we talked was … Continue reading The day I found out my girlfriend was a drug addicted prostitute
After two consecutive years of ending work Christmas parties in a pool of my own piss and puke, I’d earned a reputation for being a bit of a wildman at Bauer Media. Alright, maybe not a wildman, more like a pisshead, but it was a reputation I planned to uphold when 2012 finished and we … Continue reading Even more Christmas parties end up with me passed out in the street
My final morning in Tasmania started with a world of hurt and a trip to the toilet to spew up last night's menu of German beer and pizza. Alright, mainly it was German beer. And then, after a quick goodbye to Mick and Katri, I was in a taxi and on my way home. Okay, … Continue reading The knob-head at 20,000 feet
There are many things I've done that I'm not proud of. Having sex with that chick in the wheelchair, for instance, and getting my penis stuck in a mouse trap. One thing I am proud of, however, is writing a book. It's called Red, White & Bruce and, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there … Continue reading Red, White & Bruce
When lovely ladies find out that I worked for a gentlemen's masturbation manual for seven-and-a-half years, their first question is always, "Why?" Their second is usually, "Can you please get the fuck away from me, you chauvinistic pervert?" My answer is usually along the lines of the fact that, for the first five or so … Continue reading Tales From Pornland: Why I’ll never be Prime Minister
Back when I was drunk and gainfully employed as a writer for porn rag The Picture, it wasn't uncommon for me to appear in many of the magazine's photo shoots. No, I didn't get my dick out or anything (it wouldn't really make sense, unless they gave away magnifying glasses with every copy), but I … Continue reading Tales from Pornland: Barber shops and Brothels
Some people get into journalism to meet world-famous people. Politicians, war heroes, Big Brother winners, that sorta thing. The most famous people I met in my writing career at porn rag The Picture were Mr T, who is a black man, and Jesse Jane, who has had many black men inside her. Mr T was … Continue reading Tales from Pornland: When Row-Row met Jesse Jane
When I was a kid, I spent many memorable days (and a few boring ones) at Old Sydney Town. For those who aren’t familiar with it, Old Sydney Town was a theme park that accurately recreated the early settlement of Sydney, with historically-correct buildings, dudes dressed as convicts and more angry cannons than a Sasha … Continue reading I didn’t break into Old Sydney Town, but a very handsome friend of mine did
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 