After a week spent hanging out with my beautiful Russian girlfriend Lena in Moscow, she decided to not send me to the gulag and instead introduce me to her family. It's a good sign for the relationship, seeing as my last girlfriend forced me to pretend I was her gay cousin when we bumped into … Continue reading A Kiss on the Lipetsk
I might spend my days sleeping until 3pm and watching old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons in my undies, but my girlfriend is a valuable member of society and has a big-person job to go to, so today I was left to explore Moscow on my own. Not wanting to be a typical tourist, I … Continue reading It’s Hip to be Red Square
Moscow isn't known for its beautiful climate, but I was still ill-prepered for the arctic conditions that Russia welcomed me with. I knew things were going to be bad when my plane descended through clouds as thick as a Mount Druitt schoolkid, and my fears were confirmed when I stepped out of the airport to … Continue reading Russia: A Place For Penguins
Most people leave Bali with a couple of Bintang singlets and a suitcase full of pirated DVDs, but I managed to leave The Island of the Gods with a Russian girlfriend and a plane ticket to Moscow. And so, against all my expectations, the next leg of the Drunk & Jobless Word Tour will take … Continue reading Mission to Moscow
Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania aren't the most glamorous tourist destinations on the planet. These three northern European nations are cold, lonely, and full of scowling drunks, but they're also overflowing with history and charm. I had a wonderful time walking down ancient streets, exploring forests, checking out concentration camps and torture chambers (alright, 'a wonderful … Continue reading The Baltic States
I was never meant to end up in Sri Lanka, and wouldn’t have if not for a series of unusual events. I met a girl, cancelled my flight home to be with her, and when things didn't work out I was left with no ticket back to Australia, and no burning desire to go there … Continue reading Leaving Lanka
And so, after spending many lifetimes in Europe, I find myself in Sri Lanka. From the frozen tundra of Estonia to the white peaks of Slovakia, and the rocky peaks of Montenegro to the clear blue waters of Greece, now I’m surrounded by palm trees, curry, and annoying little men trying to sell me shit … Continue reading A Wanker in Sri Lanka
Sometimes the greatest love can start out as something closer to revulsion - just ask my ex-girlfriend. It was like that with Paros, with my first impressions being only slightly more positive than the rambling poetry of a suicidal teenager. When I first stepped foot on this quiet Greek island, I wanted to step right … Continue reading Beauty and the Greek
After the chaos of Santorini, with bikes and dickheads and Chinese tourists flying everywhere, Paros has proven to be the quiet, relaxing getaway I was craving. Alright, so I spent most of my time in Santorini lying by the pool or bludging around in the sun in my undies, but I still needed to spend … Continue reading Paros in the spring (or, is that tzatziki sauce on your pants, or are you just happy to see me?)
After staying in a delightful hotel in Santorini, I decided to save a bit of money and take the rustic approach to accommodation during my time on the quieter island of Paros. Surfing Beach Village offered private cabins by the sand for only $10 a night, so what could possibly go wrong? The answer is, … Continue reading You don’t get a lot of hotel for $10 a night these days
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 