The next leg of the Drunk and Jobless World Tour™ has begun! It's a journey that will take me from the pristine beaches of southern Bali to the skies of Candidasa, across the mountains of South Korea and deep into the beating heart of Tokyo. It's going to be a full-on seven weeks, so I've … Continue reading Bintangs in Balangan
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour™ has been on hiatus for the past few weeks, so that I could sit around in my undies getting drunk on cheap wine while laughing at all the trannies who compete in women's athletics at the Olympics. But I can only do that for so long, so next week … Continue reading I’m going to Japan!
HOLIDAY HELL Bro, what's cracking? I'm going well, thanks for asking. You write about all these cool places you're always visiting, and most of them sound fucking fantastic. I'm unemployed and have a severe drug addiction, so I won't be travelling anywhere for a while (I'm also out on parole, so the cunts at the … Continue reading More of the world’s worst advice
Exactly one year and one week ago, I received the greatest gift a man could ever hope for. No, not a blowjob off all four remaining members of One Direction some hot chick with big tits, I'm talking about my redundancy from the evil empire of Bauer Media. It was a pay-off that not only … Continue reading My one year and one week anniversary of being drunk and jobless
I’ve managed to do what those gronks Andrew Chan and Myuran ‘Suck a man off’ Sukumaran thankfully never will - make it out of Indonesia alive. I’m telling you, those three days I spent in Jakarta seemed more like a month, and if my flight out had been delayed I reckon I would’ve started throwing … Continue reading Ladyboys, hookers and muggings; going back in time in Thailand
Sorry, Huddersfield, you've been replaced as the worst place I've ever visited. All hail Jakarta, Indonesia, a filthy, noisy hellhole that is as pretty and interesting as the contents of Clive Palmer's toilet the morning after a pie-eating competition. Let this stand as a warning to anyone thinking about coming here for a holiday - … Continue reading I’d rather drink shit than spend another day in Jakarta
This morning I met an American dude named Dick and a German chick named Cindy at breakfast and we decided to brave the streets of Jakarta together. It was a good thing, too, because before the day was through we would be running from a knife-wielding cab driver while being pelted with rocks by angry … Continue reading Jak(arta)ing off
I could sense that Lombok is a dangerous place as soon as I arrived. The inhabitants of Bali’s dirtier cousin stare at you with angry eyes, yell and swear. And this morning all my suspicions were proven to be true, as I found out just how bad this shining emerald island can be. No, I … Continue reading Machetes of Lombok
Last night, I was kept up by an epic combination of explosive diarrhea and brutal group sex - and, for a change, I wasn’t directly involved in either. No, I was just a tired, teary-eyed observer to the whole sorry mess. Alright, so some background on this one: the place I’m staying at here in … Continue reading Male-male-female threesomes are a pain in the arse
Yesterday, my journey moved on to Kuta. No, I didn’t go back to that rubbish shithole with all the roid midgets and fat fucks on scooters, I came to Kuta Lombok, a similarly-named but completely different place that is actually quite stunning. But it was a memorable trip here… My driver was Ekka, a lovely … Continue reading Eating, fucking and sleeping: Ekka’s guide to the galaxy
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 