I love Australia, and I love being Australian. The refugee-cuddling diesel dykes who stalk the piss-stained alleyways of Newtown might tell you that's a bad thing, but it's not, it's something I'm proud of. So, as I prepare to spend more than two months rolling through Europe, I must admit that I'm going to miss … Continue reading See ya the fuck later, Australia!
When I rolled into Amsterdam for the first time a few years ago, I only had three things on my mind; beer, drugs, and naked women with big titties. Who cares if it’s one of the most beautiful… Source: I took a lot of drugs in Amsterdam and got chased by cartoon characters
Back when I was in India, I wrote a blog entry on my birthday that never quite made it onto the interwebs, due to a power surge killing my computer quicker than a fat girl kills her boyfriend while… Source: Happy birthday from Air India. Here, have a three hour delay (the lost blog entry)
Barcelona is a great little place. There's the epic Sagrada Família, the Olympic precinct where Perko won Gold in the 1500m, and the sangria flows as freely as a hippie sheilas period. It's a joy to just walk down the streets and see the colours and movements of the Catalonian capital. The most impressive aspect … Continue reading Somebody call Greenpeace, we need to roll this whale back into the sea!
Alright, that title might be a bit of an exaggeration. While on the party island of Ibiza a couple of years ago I took as many drugs as a Jehovah's Witness and I didn't go to any of those parties where they play all the bippity-boppity robot music, but I still managed to rip it … Continue reading Sex, drugs and techno music: Living large in Ibiza
After my wild night out in Manchester, I woke up to endless rain and a phone call from my brother. My grandfather had died about the time I'd flown out to England five days before. It was not unexpected, because he was 93, but that doesn't make it any easier to take. The cold and … Continue reading Huddersfield is like my ex-girlfriend – cold, hate-filled and full of ugly Polish men
The north of England is fantastic, but it often gets overlooked for the south of the country. Sure, London is worth a visit, but ignoring the top half of England to concentrate on the bottom is lik… Source: Macho Man-chester
The north of England is fantastic, but it often gets overlooked for the south of the country. Sure, London is worth a visit, but ignoring the top half of England to concentrate on the bottom is like ignoring a chick's boobies just because you have access to her fanny - it's a shame and a … Continue reading Macho Man-chester
I went camping in Yengo National Park this week, and it was an interesting trip for a number of reasons. First up, I took a stroll out to the Circuit Flat Bridge, a short walk from where I stayed at the Mogo Campground, and which was built by convicts back in 1831. It was maybe … Continue reading One minute I’m camping, the next there’s a naked luchador dancing around in front of me
Last time I was in Europe, I had sex with a lot of statues. It's not something I'm proud of, because I know they couldn't say no or try to stop me, but it happened. I was drunk, and I took advantage of them. Symbols of culture and history and national pride all succumbed to … Continue reading Statue-tory Rape
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 