Despite quaffing only 12 beers the night before, I woke up with a hangover that could kill a Somali pirate. But it's hard to complain when the view from your fale looks straight onto the beach - and all for the bargain price of $20 a night! My headache was sorted out with a snorkel, … Continue reading Getting stoned in Samoa isn’t as fun as it sounds
Waking up in Samoa is like waking up in the distant past. Despite spending the night a five minute walk from the centre of the capital, I stumbled out of my fale to the sounds of insects and birds, with palm trees swaying and the pool sparkling. The air was fresh, the weather was warm, … Continue reading My pilgrimage to the beach of ghosts
Samoa, hey? Twenty-seven degrees at five in the morning, which is slightly more comfortable than the 11 degrees Sydney was enjoying when I flew out five hours earlier. I could definitely get used to this over the next three weeks, as I prance around the Pacific on a holiday that will also take in Fiji … Continue reading Rowan the Samoan
Journalism is the sort of career that takes you places. America, China, the Middle East - there are stories all over the world, and they all need someone to write about them. Of course, in the first seven or so years of my career the furthest I got was Cronulla, but I assume I'm the … Continue reading Tales From Pornland: The World Tour of Toowoomba
Hiking through Olney State Forest is a bit like getting a lap dance off your best mate's mother - pleasant and refreshing, but not overly exciting, with the whole experience leaving you feeling dirty at the end of it. I've been as busy as Rolph Harris in a kindergarten lately and haven't had a chance … Continue reading Olney the lonely
I'm 10,000 metres about the earth, with endless darkness outside my window and an overweight Malaysian dude drooling onto the lapel of his Hawaiian shirt next to me. My holiday is over, and it's time to head home and face the real world. Fortunately, my last day in Asia provided all the drama and excitement … Continue reading And thus the saga ends…
After three-and-a-half weeks of drinking, spewing, exploring, embarrassing myself, falling over, down and into things, running from perverts and chasing women, here it is – my last full day of my holiday. Another glorious Malaysian sky greeted me as I made my way out of my hut at dawn, skipped across the golden sand and … Continue reading Another day for Cled and me in paradise
The Perhentian Islands, off the east coast of Malaysia, are glorious and unspoilt. However, it seems like I ruined the island experience for two young sausage-munching lasses. I woke up alone, the German girls never having found their bearings and decided to join me in my hut. When I climbed out of bed and staggered … Continue reading Prancing around the Perhentian Islands
Travelling can never be simple for me. If everything went to schedule I'd be catching a taxi to the airport, a plane back to Kuala Lumpur, another plane to Kota Bharu on Malaysia's west coast, a taxi to a tiny little town called Kuala Besut, and then a boat out to the beautiful Perhentian Islands. … Continue reading Welcome to Paradise
Brunei is an incredible and surprising place, full of beauty and wonder, so how did I end up sleeping next to the weirdest, grossest, creepiest bastard in the whole country? I woke up early to a sunny morning, scoffed a balanced breakfast of a packet of chips and a can of Red Bull, then heard the … Continue reading Borneo to be wild
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 