A few weeks ago I brought you the touching story of Dean*, a charming young man desperately in love with a handsome goat named Carl. Well, it turns out he still loves Carl - with a side of mint sauce! In a disturbing twist to an astonishing tale of cross-species love, Dean has stopped fucking … Continue reading “I cooked and ate my animal lover!”
I come here every year and it never gets easier. I turn up in my rust-bucket of a car with my bottle of cheap bourbon, and I wander down the path that gets more overgrown every year, and I try to kid myself that it wasn’t my fault. I drink that bourbon and I lie. … Continue reading Why I Believe in Monsters
I joke around a lot here at Drunk and Jobless, but I’ve had my fair share of sad and fucked up events. One that stands out is the day I found out a pretty lady I was seeing fucked dudes for money… and was apparently very good at it. The first time we talked was … Continue reading The day I found out my girlfriend was a drug addicted prostitute
Whenever Dave Stump needed to get away from it all, he threw together a sleeping bag and some tins of food and headed into the bush for a few days. The sweet air and even sweeter calls of the birds made him forget about his failing marriage and low-paying job, and there were no mirrors … Continue reading Into the Green: a short story
I’ve met a lot of weird and wonderful characters during my travels, but even I was shocked when I was contacted by Dean* recently. He’s 20 years old, works a respectable job, has an attractive girlfriend, and enjoys surfing and riding his motorbike. But Dean has a dark secret. He likes to have sex with … Continue reading Confessions of a goat fucker
Exactly one year and one week ago, I received the greatest gift a man could ever hope for. No, not a blowjob off all four remaining members of One Direction some hot chick with big tits, I'm talking about my redundancy from the evil empire of Bauer Media. It was a pay-off that not only … Continue reading My one year and one week anniversary of being drunk and jobless
I get thousands of fan emails every day, and a large number of them are from down-on-their-luck champions looking for advice. And why wouldn't they look to me for help? I'm living the dream. So here's my advice column. If you have any burning questions about life, love, and the art of drinking wine from … Continue reading Ask Row-Row: The world’s worst advice column
I've got this mate called Pieman, and he's a really good bloke and is always the life of the party - at least, he used to be, before a bizarre and tragic decision changed his life forever. Growing up, he didn't mind a pie, hence his nickname. But he played footy, enjoyed breakdancing (he even … Continue reading My mate Pieman and his all-pie diet
Drunk and Jobless is one of the five most popular sites on the internet, just behind MySpace and Kevin Rudd's personal fitness blog, and it seems like everyone who stumbles upon this filthy little corner of the internet is a sicko. Don't get me wrong, that's cool, but if you're reading this there's good chance … Continue reading My readers are still perverts
I usually go camping alone, and end up with my pants off, dancing around a fire by myself. Occasionally I decide to be a bit more social and go camping people, which is exactly what I did this weekend, with a short jaunt to beautiful Lake St Clair. You might remember it from my near-death … Continue reading Lake St Clair Strikes Back
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 