Ceremonial sacrifices

The full moon makes people do funny things. Some transform into werewolves and go around eating anyone too fat to run away, while others dance naked around bonfires and have sex with goats. The Balinese don't do anything stupid like that, though - the full moon is simply a reason to eat fish from the … Continue reading Ceremonial sacrifices

Leaving Lanka

I was never meant to end up in Sri Lanka, and wouldn’t have if not for a series of unusual events. I met a girl, cancelled my flight home to be with her, and when things didn't work out I was left with no ticket back to Australia, and no burning desire to go there … Continue reading Leaving Lanka

You son of a beach!

Sri Lanka doesn’t have a whole lot of Olympic gold medal-winning racewalkers. Alright, there’s Surav Fingabang and Karu Sukadingdong, and Anil Pushapooalong probably would’ve won in 2012 if he hadn’t been bitten by a dog during his warm up, but the fact is these people don’t like walking. There’s a reason for that - it’s … Continue reading You son of a beach!

Sex, drugs and techno music: Living large in Ibiza

Alright, that title might be a bit of an exaggeration. While on the party island of Ibiza a couple of years ago I took as many drugs as a Jehovah's Witness and I didn't go to any of those parties where they play all the bippity-boppity robot music, but I still managed to rip it … Continue reading Sex, drugs and techno music: Living large in Ibiza

Show us ya map of Tassie!

After a restless night's sleep due to the nocturnal actions of a hairy stranger (a possum that wouldn't stop messing around outside my tent, that is - get your mind out of the gutter, you bloody sicko!) I woke up to the morning I wanted yesterday. The sun was out, birds were singing, potoroos were … Continue reading Show us ya map of Tassie!

Port Arthur McArthur

Tasmania is a wild land, so today me and my brother hired a wild car to take us around the island - an automatic Nissan Micra that is as powerful as Josh Thomas with a turnip up his blurter. Ben was particularly proud of his snazzy new dream mobile. We headed out to Port Arthur, … Continue reading Port Arthur McArthur

Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I masturbated too much when I was seventeen?

I was up at 6:30 and, unlike the morning after most alcohol-fused binges, I felt great. Shit, I need to skoll kava and dance with Fijiian men every night. The weather wasn't feeling so beaut, though, and it was piddling down on the Yasawa Islands, Fij. I spent the first half of the day just … Continue reading Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I masturbated too much when I was seventeen?

And thus the saga ends…

I'm 10,000 metres about the earth, with endless darkness outside my window and an overweight Malaysian dude drooling onto the lapel of his Hawaiian shirt next to me. My holiday is over, and it's time to head home and face the real world. Fortunately, my last day in Asia provided all the drama and excitement … Continue reading And thus the saga ends…