HOLIDAY HELL Bro, what's cracking? I'm going well, thanks for asking. You write about all these cool places you're always visiting, and most of them sound fucking fantastic. I'm unemployed and have a severe drug addiction, so I won't be travelling anywhere for a while (I'm also out on parole, so the cunts at the … Continue reading More of the world’s worst advice
Exactly one year and one week ago, I received the greatest gift a man could ever hope for. No, not a blowjob off all four remaining members of One Direction some hot chick with big tits, I'm talking about my redundancy from the evil empire of Bauer Media. It was a pay-off that not only … Continue reading My one year and one week anniversary of being drunk and jobless
I get thousands of fan emails every day, and a large number of them are from down-on-their-luck champions looking for advice. And why wouldn't they look to me for help? I'm living the dream. So here's my advice column. If you have any burning questions about life, love, and the art of drinking wine from … Continue reading Ask Row-Row: The world’s worst advice column
I've got this mate called Pieman, and he's a really good bloke and is always the life of the party - at least, he used to be, before a bizarre and tragic decision changed his life forever. Growing up, he didn't mind a pie, hence his nickname. But he played footy, enjoyed breakdancing (he even … Continue reading My mate Pieman and his all-pie diet
Drunk and Jobless is one of the five most popular sites on the internet, just behind MySpace and Kevin Rudd's personal fitness blog, and it seems like everyone who stumbles upon this filthy little corner of the internet is a sicko. Don't get me wrong, that's cool, but if you're reading this there's good chance … Continue reading My readers are still perverts
I usually go camping alone, and end up with my pants off, dancing around a fire by myself. Occasionally I decide to be a bit more social and go camping people, which is exactly what I did this weekend, with a short jaunt to beautiful Lake St Clair. You might remember it from my near-death … Continue reading Lake St Clair Strikes Back
I’m often too drunk to drive, which presents me with a real problem every time I finish another cask of wine; how do I get up to the bottle shop? Sure, I could walk, but that’s stupid, so I recently invested in a mobility scooter. Yes, a mobility scooter, like the ones old people hoon … Continue reading I bought a mobility scooter and now everyone’s really nice to me because they think I’m disabled
I love getting pissed. Give me a cask of cheap wine, a bag of chips and some good music, and I'm sorted. I could do it all the time - and I do, in fact. But sometimes I get sick of stumbling around the house by myself, crying over lost loves and passing out in … Continue reading Wasted in the Watagans
A few years ago I headed up to the Gold Coast for two weeks on the piss with a good mate of mine called Dion. Alright, that's not really his name; I've changed it for reasons that will soon become clear, and have gone with a name that suggests I have a big, black, bald-headed … Continue reading Dildo Warfare: A tale of strippers, sickos and unwanted hand shandies
For those just joining us, I haven’t always been the Row Show. I haven't always had sexy long hair and acool car, and been able to make women go week at the knees with a smoothly-delivered line. When I was a junior burger, I was pretty awkward and shy, especially around women. Hell, I remember … Continue reading A girl cheated on me with a gay midget on my 19th birthday!
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 