This story starts the way all epic adventures do, in the midst of a four-day cask wine and prostitute bender. I was guzzling a schooner glass of Berri Estates' finest and checking to make sure my PlayStation hadn't been pinched when I received an email from none other than Prince Imotep Bobongi of Nigeria. I'm … Continue reading The Drunk and Jobless World Tour hits Africa
I've been spending a lot of time with my good mate (and fellow Sri Lankan) Geoff Jansz lately, and me and 'Colombo's Coolest Cook' have been pushing boundaries and changing the world together. Alright, we mainly we just chase each other around the kitchen and gossip about boys, but we've also been whipping up some … Continue reading The marvellous meat pie-zza
I'm really good at sitting around and doing absolutely nothing, so when a lady friend asked me to accompany her to a meditation evening, I gave her a thumbs up and told her I'd love to. I mean, I'd just be bludging in a dark room with a bunch of very relaxed oddballs, so what … Continue reading I went to a meditation evening (and things were far from tranquil)
Riga is a top city and I definitely recommend you check it out sometime, but there is one major problem with it: you can't sink bulk piss in the street. I found that out the hard way, while downing a can of Mitava beer in front of the Freedom Monument, the most revered and respected … Continue reading Latvia’s Most Wanted: How I almost got arrested for public intoxication
I encountered my first sex tourist within moments of stepping off the plane in Riga, Latvia. After nearly 35 hours of travelling around the world I was tired and cranky, but the cool weather and barren winter landscape outside the airport perked me up -especially because I was the only one waiting for the bus … Continue reading Livin’ La Riga Loca – Live from Latvia!
I enjoyed my last paragliding visit to Port Macquarie so much that I've come back - but the locals are wishing I'd stayed where I bloody well come from. But hear me out, it wasn't my fault! There's less wind than on the moon today, so I decided to head to the Rainbow Beach to … Continue reading Today I lost my pants at the beach
Since I first broke the story a few weeks ago, Australians have fallen in love with Dean*, the brave 20-year-old who freely admits to having sex with animals. Sadly, this inspirational tale has taken a depressing turn. Dean recently ended a long-term inter-species relationship with a spirited kid named Carl, and has since been enjoying … Continue reading Dog-dating dork declares, “I’ve got fleas!”
A few weeks ago I brought you the touching story of Dean*, a charming young man desperately in love with a handsome goat named Carl. Well, it turns out he still loves Carl - with a side of mint sauce! In a disturbing twist to an astonishing tale of cross-species love, Dean has stopped fucking … Continue reading “I cooked and ate my animal lover!”
I get thousands of fan emails every day, and a large number of them are from down-on-their-luck champions looking for advice. And why wouldn't they look to me for help? I'm living the dream. So here's my advice column. If you have any burning questions about life, love, and the art of drinking wine from … Continue reading Ask Row-Row: The world’s worst advice column
I've got this mate called Pieman, and he's a really good bloke and is always the life of the party - at least, he used to be, before a bizarre and tragic decision changed his life forever. Growing up, he didn't mind a pie, hence his nickname. But he played footy, enjoyed breakdancing (he even … Continue reading My mate Pieman and his all-pie diet
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 