Yesterday was supposed to be a great day for flying. Unfortunately, the Wind Gods didn’t get the memo, and when we got to the bottom of Middle Brother, the conditions were as flat as a disappointing girlfriend’s chest. As a result, me and the Cloudbase crew spent the day waiting at the bottom of Middle … Continue reading Praise be to the Wind Gods
While in Lake Innes on my paramagliding adventure, I’m staying at a petting zoo. there are llamas and alpacas and other stupid-looking beasties wandering around, and this morning I was awoken by the insane bleating of a herd of horny billy goats. I won’t tell my mate Dean* about it, or the dirty bastard will … Continue reading Big Things (and not so big things)
I’ve had a rough couple of days (don’t worry, you can read all about that in an upcoming blogsmic extravaganza - trust me, it’s a story of love and loss that's so bizarre and deranged that you won’t want to miss it), so yesterday I chucked my paraglider in the car and headed up to … Continue reading Any Port in a Storm
HOLIDAY HELL Bro, what's cracking? I'm going well, thanks for asking. You write about all these cool places you're always visiting, and most of them sound fucking fantastic. I'm unemployed and have a severe drug addiction, so I won't be travelling anywhere for a while (I'm also out on parole, so the cunts at the … Continue reading More of the world’s worst advice
Exactly one year and one week ago, I received the greatest gift a man could ever hope for. No, not a blowjob off all four remaining members of One Direction some hot chick with big tits, I'm talking about my redundancy from the evil empire of Bauer Media. It was a pay-off that not only … Continue reading My one year and one week anniversary of being drunk and jobless
I get thousands of fan emails every day, and a large number of them are from down-on-their-luck champions looking for advice. And why wouldn't they look to me for help? I'm living the dream. So here's my advice column. If you have any burning questions about life, love, and the art of drinking wine from … Continue reading Ask Row-Row: The world’s worst advice column
Drunk and Jobless is one of the five most popular sites on the internet, just behind MySpace and Kevin Rudd's personal fitness blog, and it seems like everyone who stumbles upon this filthy little corner of the internet is a sicko. Don't get me wrong, that's cool, but if you're reading this there's good chance … Continue reading My readers are still perverts
I love getting pissed. Give me a cask of cheap wine, a bag of chips and some good music, and I'm sorted. I could do it all the time - and I do, in fact. But sometimes I get sick of stumbling around the house by myself, crying over lost loves and passing out in … Continue reading Wasted in the Watagans
A few years ago I headed up to the Gold Coast for two weeks on the piss with a good mate of mine called Dion. Alright, that's not really his name; I've changed it for reasons that will soon become clear, and have gone with a name that suggests I have a big, black, bald-headed … Continue reading Dildo Warfare: A tale of strippers, sickos and unwanted hand shandies
I wrote the following article for the October issue of Aviator Magazine Australia. It's on the shelves right now, so go buy a copy! THERE’S nothing like the feeling of leaping off a mountain while strapped to three kilograms of fabric and a bucket seat and, as I looked down at the landing zone 550 … Continue reading Return to Para-Dise
The Drunk and Jobless World Tour 